Plan 9 (2016)
Starring Brian Krause, Mister Lobo, Matthew Ewald, Sara Eshleman, Amy Hart
Directed by John Johnson
Going into my Plan 9 viewing experience, I held just one single, simple hope, and that was that John Johnson’s remake of Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space would be every bit as random and nonsensical as Wood’s original. I understood that accomplishing such a feat would no doubt be a conscious decision, as it’s tough for even the most amateur of filmmaker to exhibit a weaker grasp of concepts, conflicts and structuring than Wood exhibited in 1959 (to Wood’s credit, a lot of the problems with the film were a direct result of his insistence on including archival footage of Bela Lugosi that was shot for an entirely different film… and Wood was never known for his editing skills, in general). But I clung to that hope because, in my mind, the original film is brilliant. It epitomizes the term “so bad it’s good” and completely captivates me for all the wrong but welcomed reasons. I needed this remake to respawn a little bit of that hokey essence. And by god, I actually got what I needed.
Plan 9 is every bit as awesome as I’d hoped! It’s not quite as charming as Wood’s film (which has had three and a half decades to steal my heart), but it most certainly is loaded with wildly random bullshit that makes no sense and serves as no enhancer to the film or plot as a whole, in any way shape or form. For any other flick, that would be problematic, but not for this one. It never pretends to take itself too seriously but offers us the same awkward contrast that the original did by placing relatively serious performers in the lead positions. Brian Krause, who has mastered the ability to pretend he’s taking a preposterous script seriously, was the pitch-perfect casting call to make. He just nails it, and even though he’s filming complete and utter bullshit, he keeps a straight face from the first to the last moment. It’s great stuff. And Krause isn’t alone in his success, as Matthew Ewald, Sara Eshleman and Amy Hart go all in for good fun. You’ve got to love this group and the manner in which they handled this material. These guys did their homework.
The special effects look like they cost one shade south of $12, which is perfect for this picture, and the editing truly is appropriately ugly. There are some downright offensive cuts and transitions in the film, but just like the special effects, this also comes across as intentionally planned, as Johnson continues to aim for the endearing goof-ups in honor of Wood and the original cast. His homage is a prosperous one, with only one glaring flaw in the film: Vampire Girl is entirely ignored… you can’t do that, John. You just can’t, damn you!
If you’re wondering why I’ve tackled the technical aspects of the film before even dropping a paragraph to summarize the movie’s plot, know that it’s intentional. As was the case with Wood’s original film, Johnson’s remake really doesn’t have much of a plot. It involves an alien invasion that triggers a zombie apocalypse that incites a vampire charge… yeah, that about it sums it up. Obviously, it doesn’t make much sense, but if you can’t see the humor in it, you’re taking everything far too seriously.
If a mother, poisoning her child so that this child might avoid becoming a zombie, only to be bitch-slapped by Krause’s character, Jeff, for killing her child, only to turn in despair, rip every last fiber of clothing from her body (that’s a big booty!) and walk stoically into a circle of zombies, doesn’t set your W-T-F radar off, you just don’t understand what’s happening here. If that’s the case, let me just spell it out for you: o-n t-h-e f-l-y, o-u-t o-f t-h-i-s w-o-r-l-d c-r-a-z-y!!
There is no point to the existence of Plan 9 other than to make fans of the original Plan 9 from Outer Space smile ear-to0ear in appreciation. From one hardcore fan to anyone reading this review, John Johnson did this remake true justice. This is what a fun remake and a perfect beer movie looks like, so take a swig every time something preposterous happens; you’ll be tanked by the end of the first act!
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Film
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