Scarecrows (DVD)
Starring Ted Vernon, Michael David Simms, Richard Vidan, Kristina Sanborn, Victoria Christian
Directed by William Wesley
Distributed by MGM and Fox Home Entertainment
Someone call the authorities! The same dude who designed the horridly one dimensional and cliché cover art for The Burning (review here) is at it again, and there seems to be no slowing them down! Pretty soon the entire home video world will be taken against its will if we do not take a stand right now! Quick! Someone make a useless online petition that no one will give a shit about! Sharpen your pitchforks! Light your torches! Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!
OK. Maybe I’m over reacting a bit. But unfortunately the cover art is about all I have to talk about here as Scarecrows has come home sans any features. At this point I honestly feel lucky to have gotten a menu. Still, since MGM and Fox have been on such a roll lately, I’ll let it slide. This time.
*waves fist in stern manner*
Even the best laid plans can go quickly to shit. A band of ex-military commandos have just pulled off the heist of the century. What’s a bunch of guys to do with a bag full of ill gotten millions? Hop a plane an head to Mexico of course. Things seem to be going like clockwork for our airborne crooks, but greed can be a real bitch. After one of the criminals betrays his buds, their plane crashes into a field filled with scarecrows. Normally this wouldn’t be too much of a problem (aside from the whole plane crashing thing), but these are no ordinary straw men. In actuality they’re murderous members of the living dead who get their rocks off by killing folks with scythes, pitchforks, and any sharp object that happens to be laying around.
Never mind all the imitators out there, this scarecrow film is THE ONE to watch! As fun as it is over-the-top violent, Scarecrows is the perfect fit for viewers looking to strap in for some good old fashioned mindless mayhem. According to the back of the box, Scarecrows is unrated and they aint kidding! There’s enough slicing, dicing, tearing, and torturing here to keep even the most blood hungry of gore-hounds satisfied!
Honestly, I’m surprised this flick has even seen the light of day. In terms of Eighties classics this is about as obscure as it gets. I think I know maybe five other people who have seen this flick, so we can only hope this sadistic slice of grue finds an audience who can appreciate it.
Now then back to that artist fucker ….
*ties bandanna around head in slow motion*
Special Features
Ummm …
Err …
Sigh.
3 1/2 out of 5
Special Features:
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