Drinking With The Dread: A Howlin’ Good WOLFCOP Edition!
Half wolf. All cop. Dirty Harry, only hairier. Lowell Dean’s Canadian import WolfCop unloads a barrel full of campy werewolf puns into what can only be described as an after-dark beast that is 100% #myshit. Balanced low-budget horror comedies like Dean’s are a dime a dozen, typically too interested in low-rent humor to respect gory practical craftsmanship. Constant in-jokes rattle off laugh after head-shaking laugh, but in addition to four-legged-themed hysteria, WolfCop is a stellar werewolf addition with or without stores named “Liquor Donuts.” Criminals in little pig masks. More fur than your grandma’s coven of feline companions can cough up during a weekend visit. Moral of the story? Get ready for a howlin’ good edition of Drinking With The Dread – poutine and maple syrup not included.
Leo Fafard stars as Lou Garou (“loup-garou” is French for “werewolf”), an alcoholic Woodhaven Deputy Sheriff who spends most his nights blacking out off duty. It’s commonplace for Garou not to recall his previous night’s shenanigans, never cause for concern until he wakes up one morning with a werewolf curse. A WereCop curse? No, a WolfCop curse! Under the glow of moonlight, Garou transforms into his precinct’s freakish secret weapon – aided by accompanying officer Tina (Amy Matysio) and oh-so-Canadian “sidekick” Willie Higgins (Jonathan Cherry). Who’s a good bad boy!
WolfCop, as you can assume, cannot be contained – but he’s also no naturalist werewolf either. Garou’s alter ego stuffs inside his Woodhaven uniform, blasts hand-cannon rounds, and quips lines like:
Criminal: “The fuck are you?”
WolfCop: “The fuzz.”
Fafard’s performance is everything late-night heroes are made of, one part self-deprecating alcoholic, one part untamed wildman, one part big-dick swingin’ werewolf. Shaken until enraged and irritated, then unleashed upon thugs who are mauled three ways from Tim Horton’s. He’s even got a pimped-out “WolfCop Mobile” like some kind of urban legend granted government funding.
Rule #1 of WolfCop is “expect the unexpected.” Not only does Dean employ the phallic imagery of Wolfy’s manifested confidence, but beat-by-beat surprises keep gimmicks fresh. Is there a hilarious romantic prison sequence? Check. A bodily werewolf transformation complete with elastic flesh rips and gushing blood that bids for the decade’s best? Double check. Booze-soaked antihero dramatics, gruesome face rips (think MacGruber throat rips), practical werewolf makeup, crazed cultists? Check ‘em all off with the fervor of a thousand flaming Dr. Pepper shots. Down to “Little Red Riding Hood” in her seductive wardrobe.
If I were a spiteful sonofabitch, one of my rules this month would be “Drink whatever WolfCop drinks.” I’d have to be a real bastard to do that…
Proprietors of pun-ification and enthusiasts of hybrid subgenre ambition should be most excited about WolfCop. For those who don’t like their horror slathered cheesy melted curds? That’s what alcohol is for. Lowell Dean is responsible for crafting one of my favorite midnight exploitation flicks in the last however many years, one whose inappropriate barks equal its for-the-jugular bites. You better be drinking Molson Goldens or Labatt Blues while Lou Garou hazily tries to piece together why his hangovers now come with flesh stuck between sharpened teeth.
Highlight moments include but are not limited to:
- WolfCop’s toe-claws puncturing through Lou Garou’s shoes.
- Jonathan Cherry (incredibly underrated character actor).
- Musical cues (country rock metamorphosis, cheesy love ballad during a conjugal visit).
- Soundtrack by Shooting Guns.
- Fafard’s pitch-perfect drunken creature acting.
- Decapitations, face-clawings, and a middle finger to CGI.
- He’s a WolfCop! What more do you *really* need?!
Ready to drink along with a supernatural champion of the degenerate art form? Here are the WolfCop Drinking With The Dread rules!
- Drink whenever Lou Garou/WolfCop takes a drink.
- Drink every time the moon is shown (no matter the color).
- Drink whenever someone says “Liquor Donuts” or the shop name is seen.
- Drink whenever someone says “Drink N’ Shoot” or the words are seen.
- Drink TWICE for every wolf-related gag/pun (piggy masks, etc).
- Drink TWICE every time WolfCop kills someone.
- TAKE A SHOT in honor of Lou Garou’s first bloody-as-all-hell WolfCop transformation.
One last time, let’s cheers our tall boys of Chicken Milk Stout to stay WolfCop themed (see: Another WolfCop) and summon Lou Garou’s buzzworthy superpower. Horror creatures are just too proper these days. Vampires with perfect dictation and Frankenstein monsters who look like Xavier Samuel. WolfCop is the dirty-mouthed, filthier-minded predator in justice’s clothing and his methods couldn’t be better suited for Drinking With The Dread. Here’s to a sloppy savior who thwarts evil and gets the girl all before sunup, no matter how many assholes he’s gotta chow down on. Break the law, incur his wrath. Go ahead, make his night.
Categorized:Drinking With the Dread Editorials
