‘The Fly’: Celebrating 36 Years of David Cronenberg’s Surprisingly Sexy Classic
David Cronenberg’s masterpiece, The Fly, is turning 36 years old this week. While the film is objectively one of the go-to’s for sci-fi, body horror, and tortured genius types. I’m here for one specific and on-brand reason. I’m here to talk about Zaddy Jeff Goldblum. Specifically, how his character’s insistence on turning himself into a fly might not have helped my commitment issues. Ronnie (Geena Davis) seemingly lands the perfect man. A man that looks like Jeff Thee Goldblum, has a job, and can read. I do not know what was going on back then, but in today’s online dating world, he’s a sexy unicorn.
When you add that he is not living in his mother’s basement, Goldblum’s Seth becomes a fucking king among Kennys. Does he seem a little eccentric? Yes. Do we think he is still wearing the underwear his mom brought him? 100%. However, for a good chunk of the movie, he seems like the kind of fixer-upper I can support. Not like the ones my friends keep letting ruin brunch and pretending is not beyond repair. He can’t sit with us, Lexi!! This is why Ronnie sticking around when he starts to grow hair out of wounds makes sense for her. However, dating is hard, and I respect her for trying to hang onto a dime in a world of penny dreadfuls.
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That’s before Seth gets upset and turns himself into a fly though. That’s when I realized Ronnie should leave, and that no hottie can be trusted. Zaddies are great on paper. However, when have they ever not ended up doing some weird shit and expecting us to go along with it? Send me gently into Hobbitville and let me dream my zaddy dreams. Wikipedia will tell me why this ring is so precious and I’ll make do. I am not messing with flies, no matter how hard Goldblum tries. It’s a hard pass! Also proud that I still have boundaries while looking at him like he’s a ride in Jurassic Park, and I don’t know how this dinosaur business ends for all of us.
Anywho, this magical specimen turns himself into a fly and blames Ronnie for his actions. He then cheats on her before throwing her out of his apartment. As a viewer, I’m always like, “the audacity of this gooey bastard!” Because once he stops being a smoke show and begins mutating into a Marvel villain, the allure is gone.
Our sweetheart is turning into a monster, and not just on the outside. Our mild-mannered, hyperactive, brilliant doll face is as bad as the guy Ronnie left for him. He beckons her to come back when he’s worried he’s dying, and unlike me, she doesn’t tell him that sounds like a personal problem. Seth begins stalking her and finds out she’s pregnant. Because logic doesn’t live in Seth anymore, he’s not wanting to hear “her body, her choice.” He’s also not willing to look at the severity of the whole turning into a fly situation. He kidnaps Ronnie and decides he will also turn her into the kind of gooey monstrosity that could only live in Cronenberg’s head. As a child, I think this is when my brain registered, “Dying alone seems like the way to go.”
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Luckily, Ronnie survives this nightmare. However, those of us that saw this movie too young now have trust issues. The next time a therapist wants to unpack my fear of commitment, I am billing Mr. Cronenberg for his share of this problem. I suspect all attractive men are up to some strange shit. I worry that I am always five seconds away from trying to hook up with someone that would rather turn himself into a fly instead of using his words. I’m laughing, but I’m also getting fitted for a habit seeing as I will be pulling a Sister Act after revisiting this movie one too many times. On this, The Fly’s 36th birthday, I celebrate by giving up on men. Buzz, buzz. Leave me alone and tell the dandy known as Jeff Goldblum that his character is still ruining me all of these years later.
Let me know what you’re taking away from The Fly as we celebrate 36 years of this gooey masterpiece at @misssharai.
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