The 5 Best Cannibal Movies Streaming This Week To Watch While Eating Your Holiday Leftovers
For many, the winter holidays are a time for family, friends, and feasts. However, no one ever talks about the dangerous combinations of those basic F-words. You know, when the friends and family become the feast. Or when the squad chows down on some randos while having a night out. Which is why I’m here to ruin your holiday cheer!
I’m knocking the leftover turkey sandwich out of your hand this weekend and asking if you really know how the sausage gets made. I’ve pulled five magnificent maneaters together for this week’s streaming guide. Feast your eyes on these cunning cannibals who are about to ruin love, soup, and friendship!
Bones and All (dir. Luca Guadagnino)
Where You Can Watch: MGM+ and Prime Video
A young woman with a grisly secret sets off on a road trip and meets a young man who suffers from the same affliction. Bones and All really proves that sharing a meal can be a beautiful and bloody way to get to know your partner. We thought we would watch these two star-cross lovers eat people and ride off into the sunset. However, we clearly did not pay enough attention to the title because it warned us that love hurts…because it bites…and chews…and swallows you whole!
I’m not always here for romance, but I must admit that adding the doomed cannibal relationship grabbed my attention. By the time the credits rolled, Taylor Russell’s Maren was alone with a man buffet in her bedroom. I think of her often as I build a snack drawer in my room. Although I doubt I will have anything quite as beefy unless they start making refrigerated dressers.
Jennifer’s Body (dir. Karyn Kusama)
Where You Can Watch: Hulu
A possessed high school cheerleader develops a craving for her male classmates. Jennifer’s Body is the first movie that comes to mind when people mention girl dinner. I fully support her message of eating the boys, even the cute ones who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. If more cheerleaders were cannibals, I might watch sports. So, obviously, I’m a little annoyed that Jennifer’s friend, Needy, keeps trying to interrupt her. I would also get mad if someone kept taking my food away from me, and I am team Jennifer!
Aside from treating boys like Lunchables, this movie remains the best use of Megan Fox’s vibe. It also makes her the patron saint of high school girl cannibals, and we all know that is an often overlooked demographic. Amanda Seyfried (Needy) also ate in this title, even if her character was the voice of treason.
Raw (dir. Julia Ducournau)
Where You Can Watch: VOD
A young woman who is a vegetarian in vet school develops a taste for human flesh. Raw was Julia Ducournau’s warning shot before making Titane and changing our collective brain chemistry. This movie gave a whole new meaning to Lady Fingers and is unsettling in all the good ways. I would love to see these two sisters eat more people and finally work through their differences. The extra protein diet turns out to be a huge family secret, so this cannibal tale is perfect for your post-holiday feast viewing. We thought getting kicked out of school while your sister lands in jail because she ate your lover was bad. To survive all of that and find out your mom has been taking love bites out of your father in the bedroom is so much worse. They do not have therapy strong enough to heal any of this trauma!
We Are What We Are (dir. Jim Mickle)
Where You Can Watch: Pluto TV
The two daughters of a reclusive religious family are forced to put food on the table. Unfortunately for them, the family’s religious views mean they have a special and meaty diet. So much is wrong with this movie, but it is the sound of them slurping their cannibal soup that still haunts me to this day. I am fine with characters eating people on screen. I even cheer for zombies whenever I get the chance.
However, putting body parts into a pot and then spooning them out of bowls like clam chowder makes me want to vomit. If you can get past the human bisque, the family dynamics that lead to them feasting on one of their own is appropriate holiday energy. If you dig this cannibalistic catastrophe, you should probably track down the original movie it is based on. Somos lo que hay is currently available on AMC+.
The Young Cannibals (dir. Kris Carr and Sam Fowler)
Where You Can Watch: Prime Video
Seven friends are tricked into ingesting hitchhiker hamburgers and summoning a monster who wants to eat them one by one. I have to point out that the vegan friend got off lucky. Where everyone else thought they were being gifted hamburgers, he passed on what would be the worst meal of everyone’s life. When the truth came out, and the severity of the situation was revealed, he still refused to eat and spit out what was forced into his mouth. His dying early without swallowing these stranger danger burgers was for the best because shit somehow got weirder after the body burgers. This title is the grossest example of why you should not eat at everyone’s house this holiday season.
I’m not going to pretend this is a great movie. However, The Young Cannibals reminds you there is no such thing as a free meal as it takes itself a bit too seriously.
Those are the five feasts I’ll think about every time I reheat my frozen mac and cheese this weekend. I hope you remember this list as you reach for the leftover deviled eggs and ham. If even one person asks their aunt what she put into the potato salad, my work is done.
Did this streaming guide put you in the cannibal spirit? Then let me know if you want another plate at @misssharai.
Categorized:Editorials
