Every Death in ‘The Monkey’, Ranked by How Gruesome It Is
Oz Perkins’ The Monkey is quite different from the director’s breakout hit Longlegs from last year. While the latter was tense and serious, this new film is outrageous in a way that modern horror hasn’t often been. But, the film’s silliness doesn’t stop it from also being one of the goriest horror films of the decade. The Monkey follows two twin brothers Hal and Bill Shelbourne who, after inheriting a toy monkey from their father, become cursed.
They’re horrified to learn that the monkey isn’t just a toy. It causes horrific deaths whenever its key is turned. After their mother is killed by the monkey, the already estranged brothers grow further apart before being reunited once the monkey begins to strike again 25 years later. Each death the monkey orchestrates is horrific, so without further ado, here is each death from The Monkey, ranked by how gruesome it is.
17. Unnamed Person, Impaled by Surfboard
Adult Hal (Theo James) drives past a person impaled through the torso by a surfboard, the body now pinned to a tree. We don’t see the lead-up to this death, only the end results, so it’s less impactful than the others.
16. Unnamed Golfer, Cobra Course
Another poor resident of Maine killed by Bill’s obsession, but out of the three we’re told about, this death is the most tame. We watch as a golfer is bitten by a cobra hiding in a golf hole, striking at her neck incessantly. If you’re afraid of snakes this may be at the top of your list, but compared to the others, this isn’t that bad of a way to go.
15. Unnamed Newlyweds, Til Death Do Us Part
When the monkey finally has enough of Bill using it for his selfish ways, it triggers a cataclysmic and almost apocalyptic event. In the midst of this, a couple who have decided to go skydiving for their wedding, fall out of their plane and crash through Bill’s ceiling and onto his floor.
14. Lois Shelburn, Pop Goes The Mother
Although it’s the death that traumatized Bill and Hal the most, their mother Lois’ (Tatian Maslany) death isn’t all that gruesome. While making a snack for the boys after school, she begins to twitch and bleed from her ears, ultimately collapsing from a brain aneurysm. It’s a pretty solid way to go in a universe where people are crushed to death or explode. However, adult Hal dreams of her staring down at him and shrieking as blood pours out of her eyes and ears. It’s frankly more horrifying than her actual death.
13. Burt Bergerson, Venti Latte Extra Hot
As one of the residents of Maine who meets their demise during Bill’s monkey-wielding killing spree, we don’t get an in-depth look at Mr. Bergerson’s death. We see as he attempts to make himself a drink, but his espresso machine malfunctions, shooting high-pressure water up into his face. It burns his skin, which eventually melts and slides off.
12. Babysitter Annie, Hibachi Night Gone Wrong
Bill and Hal watch on as a restaurant chef flirts with the babysitter, doing flips and tricks with the knife he wields. He quickly gets carried away and ends up slicing the babysitter’s neck with a straight-lined precision. The boys look at her and don’t seem to notice that anything is wrong until her expression goes blank and her head topples off her shoulders, falling into the grill in front of them.
11. Dwayne, Gotta Have My Vape
While attempting to get more juice for the vape that he can’t be parted from, Hal’s grocery store manager Dwayne’s precious juice gets stuck in a vending machine. While death-by-automated-machine would be cool, instead we watch as Dwayne begins to walk off in defeat. He quickly steps on a rake—which has no business being inside—that hits the vape in his mouth. It gets logged in his throat, purging out from his skin before suffocating him.
10. Unnamed Cheerleaders, Smells Like Teen Spirit
At the end of the film, Hal and his son Petey are having a heart-to-heart. After going through a traumatic night together, where Hal’s brother died by bowling ball, the film gives them time to finally relax. As they drive off into the fiery storms the monkey has left in its wake, a bus full of cheerleaders crosses the intersection. They cheer with their heads and pom poms out the window, facing the audience, before a transport truck drives by. Knocking their heads off in its wake, the yellow bus is doused in the red remains of the cheerleaders.
9. Unnamed Pawn Shop Owner, Harpoon to the Guts
The Monkey begins with Bill and Hal’s father (Adam Scott) attempting to sell the toy to an uninterested pawn shop owner. When a diving-suit mannequin shoots its spear gun across the room, the camera slowly pans to reveal that it now resides in the owner’s stomach. Although he looks unphased, the spear retracts, taking along his intestines. While not as gruesome as some of this film’s kills, it perfectly sets up the audience for the mayhem to come.
8. Bill, Strike!
As they seem to finally be making up for the ways in which they wronged each other throughout their lives, Bill and Hal begin to shake hands. But, because this is a film with a ridiculous kill count, there’s no way both brothers were coming out unscathed. As Bill stands up with the help of his brother, a bowling ball cascades through the unfinished ceiling of Bill’s house into a cannon. In a looney-tunes chain of events, the cannon goes off just as it points directly at Bill, taking his head clean off his body. As the rest of him stumbles over, we see his brain matter clinging to the wall he was once standing in front of.
7. Unnamed Baby, Baby Carriage on Fire
We get a quick glimpse of a distressed mother pushing a burning stroller. Although we don’t see anything gruesome we can assume there’s a dead baby in there. The thought is horrific, but thankfully Perkins’ doesn’t force us to witness it.
6. Barbara, A Good Shot
While showing Hal around his Aunt Ida’s home, real estate agent Barbara struggles to unlock a closet door. She places each key on her chain into the lock, but with each try, Hal realizes that the anticipation of her opening the door feels all wrong. He tries to warn her to stop, but finally, she gets it: opening the door to the image of a shotgun. It falls down towards her before going off with a loud bang, the blast destroying her body. The kill gets even grosser when Hal coughs up her finger, which landed in his mouth during the blast.
5. Mitchell McDonnell, Blades of Glory
After Aunt Ida’s death, her real estate agent tells Hal that there has been a record-breaking amount of deaths happening around town. One, though it’s shown in succession with two others, takes the cake as one of The Monkey’s most horrific. We watch as a Maine resident’s torso is shredded by his lawnmower. Though it’s a brief appearance, it cuts in so quickly that it takes you by surprise, with poor Mr. McDonald convulsing under the machine’s propellers.
4. Unnamed Woman by the Pool, It’s Electric
As Bill and Hal talk on the phone, the latter moves outside, where a portable air conditioning unit quickly falls to the ground, which is covered in a pool of water leaking out a drain. The electrical current zaps into the pool, just as a female guest is getting ready to jump off the diving board. Hal’s cries of warning are no match for this curse though, and when she hits the pool, she explodes. One of her legs flies over Hal’s back as he ducks out of the way, to which he yelps, “Is that a fucking leg?!”
3. Uncle Chip, Mince Meat
After adopting Bill and Hal after their mother’s death, Uncle Chip meets his own demise rather quickly. We learn that he too has suffered a brutal death, but perhaps one of the most egregious of the film’s kill list. Hal describes him as being brutally trampled to death by a stampede of 67 wild horses while on a camping trip, which is so specific you can’t help but burst into laughter in your seat. However, this ridiculousness gives way to an immediate disgust as we watch Uncle Chip, still lying in his sleeping bag, get stomped on by horse hooves. To make matters even worse, we’re forced to look at what remains of him after; a red mushy aftermath of guts and gore, which is perhaps one of the most sickening kills in modern horror.
2. Ricky, Bees!
When Bill’s lackey kidnaps Hal and his son Petey towards the end of the film, he then forces Petey to try and steal the monkey from Bill’s apartment. With just him and Hal in the car, Ricky accidentally shoots a hole through the car’s windshield as he’s scratching his head with the tip of his gun. What he doesn’t realize is that a massive hornet’s nest which dangles directly in front of the car was also impacted by the bullet, causing the hornets to fly from their home, through the windshield and into Ricky’s open mouth. Their presence rearranges the internal structure of his head, as his mouth becomes hollowed out by their incessant stings, his jaw cracks open and crumbles.
1. Aunt Ida, I’m Hooked On You
Aunt Ida’s death feels like it was lifted straight out of a Final Destination film. When she hears the titular monkey’s drums, she picks up her gun and begins to search her house. When she gets to the basement, she crashes through the stairs, landing in boxes filled with fishing hooks. As they hang out of her face, she makes her way back upstairs to clean her wounds with rubbing alcohol. After treating the wounds, she inspects her stove which is making strange noises. As she leans closer, it ignites her face and head in flames. Stumbling outside, she runs into a for-sale sign on her lawn, impaling her face on its pointed end.
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Categorized:Editorials
