10 Monster Toys That Need to Make a Return!
STRETCH MONSTER
1976 saw the release of Kenner’s Stretch Armstrong, a He-Man looking dude with a plastic head and rubbery body filled with corn syrup, which allowed kids to twist and stretch him into a multitude of different poses, any and all of which he would return from, back to his original form. The ultimate action figure, Stretch Armstrong was no doubt an awesome toy, but there was only so much you could do with him by himself.
Enter Stretch Monster in 1978, a half-man/half-reptile creature that served as Armstrong’s greatest adversary; the Zeus to his Hulk Hogan, if you will. With green scaly skin and the devil’s eyes, Stretch Monster came equipped with such finishing moves as the Gruesome Grip and the Swamp Squeeze, proving him a worthy contender for Stretch Armstrong’s World Title. Stretch Monster took the fun concept of the Stretch Armstrong doll and made it appealing for monster kids like ourselves, and for that I must offer up many thanks to Kenner.
Stretch Monster nowadays sells for hundreds of dollars on eBay, and I’d love to see him get a second chance at life, so that I could actually hold one in my own two hands. At the price they’re currently going for on the collector’s market, I’m fearing that day may never come.
COUNT CREEPYHEAD & FRIENDS
I don’t think anyone will argue that there’s never been a better time to be someone with an affinity for the delicious sights, smells and tastes of Play-Doh than right now, in the present day. The Play-Doh empire is bigger and better than ever, and it seems there are kits to turn the colorful compound into anything you can imagine, from ice cream cones to french fries. Which begs the question; if they don’t want kids eating this stuff, why the hell do they make it so damn appetizing?!
But I digress. The point I’m trying to make is that though Play-Doh-loving kids are spoiled in today’s toy climate, monster kids have kinda been left out of the fun. But that wasn’t always the case…
In 1984, Count Creepyhead & Friends was introduced into the Play-Doh line, a kit that allowed kids to make their very own monster squad. The kit came with a skeleton base and various different monster masks, and mini monster masterpieces were created by simply placing a ball of Play-Doh into the skeleton’s head, putting your favorite monster mask over the top of it, and then pushing down the skeleton’s arms, which would squeeze the Doh into the mask mold. When the mask was removed, you had yourself a highly detailed Play-Doh monster. The only thing more terrifying than your new monster friend? The color he’d turn your shit after you ate him!
It makes me sad to think that the kids of today have to poorly sculpt their own Play-Doh monsters, rather than having a kit to help them do it right. So come on, Hasbro, dig up Count Creepyhead… and his little friends too!
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