Monsters. Love them or hate them, horror movies have brought us a wide variety of these creatures in many shapes and sizes; yet, it’s impossible to be scared of laughable evildoers that suffer from cheap special effects, silly makeup, or lame designs.
The general horror movie monster is usually a big ugly creature that goes about ripping people apart and eating every last bite of them, and they’re big, they’re scary, and they probably smell too. These monsters are seen in movies such as Tremors, The Host, or Cloverfield, but sometimes the monsters in a movie are smaller and cute, but just as deadly, like in Gremlins and Critters. Most of them are clever, but there have been some not so clever ones that are more like freaks of nature. Monsters that are so bad we chuckle at the site of them, but somehow we love and appreciate them nonetheless.
While there are just so many to mention, I’ve put up a few of my favorites (not in any order).
Blood Freak (1972)
Synopsis: A biker comes upon a girl with a flat tire and offers her a ride home. He winds up at a drug party with the girl’s sister, then follows her to a turkey farm owned by her father, a mad scientist. The father turns the biker into a giant turkey monster who goes after drug dealers.
Yeah, a half-turkey/half-man who craves the blood of drug users and narrated by a guy that sounds like he’s had a few too many cigarettes. It’s a hilariously really bad movie, but you’ll be glad to know that in the end it’s just a dream that helps show this biker the error of his drug-using ways.
The Keep (1983)
Synopsis: Nazis are forced to turn to a Jewish historian for help in battling the ancient demon they have inadvertently freed from its prison.
Even though the movie isn’t that bad, the monster demon, Molasar, just ruins the entire thing. Seriously, the suit made of rubber and red glowing eyes looks like something you’d stick in your yard at Halloween.
Mansquito (2005)
Synopsis: When a scientist gets her convict subject to agree to take part in a radiation and mosquito experiment, things suddenly go wrong.
Talk about things going wrong. It’s a half-man/half-mosquito. I mean, can you imagine a horny man-mosquito who just wants to produce his larva babies? Ew… no.
Godmonster of Indian Flats (1973)
Synopsis: A mutant sheep is on the move near a ranch in the American West.
You may have seen the movie Black Sheep, but it’s nothing compared to the mutant sheep in this movie. I mean, what the hell are those things hanging from it anyway? Hooves? That’s just really baaaaaaad.
The Gingerdead Man (2005)
Synopsis: An evil yet adorable gingerbread man comes to life with the soul of a convicted killer – this real life cookie monster wreaks havoc on the girl who sent the killer to the electric chair.
Grandma’s gingerbread isn’t what it appears to be. A pinch of seasoning, a bit of human blood, and viola! You have yourself a cookie that kills, and not in an eat too many and it will kill you kind of way. Nope, in a homicidal maniac sort of way where all the milk in the world won’t save you. Oh, please… there is, and only ever will be, one cookie monster.
The Giant Claw (1957)
Synopsis: Global panic ensues when it is revealed that a mysterious UFO is actually a giant bird that flies at supersonic speed and has no regard for life or architecture.
The claw is actually attached to a big mutant turkey thing from outer space that produces some strange annoying noise and has a really bad haircut, but this is one of those movies that is so bad it’s good, and I guarantee your giggles will be worth the watch.
So there you go. A few of my favorites worthy of mentioning. Of course there are more, and yours may not be on this list, but that’s where I leave it up to you. Let us know what movie monsters make your all-time list in the comments below.