Ranking the Halloween Franchise from Best to Worst
This isn’t the first time I’ve ranked the Halloween franchise. And this ranking doesn’t exactly mirror past lists. Time changes opinions. But this particular list doesn’t just differ as a result of time; it differs because for the first time (well, my first time) it also includes a breakdown of the recently released producer’s cut of Curse of Michael Myers, an excellent piece of work that should have never been shelved to begin with.
You’ll learn a bit about that specific picture – if you haven’t yet seen it – and you’ll also get a fresh perspective on the franchise as a whole. A recent return to all 11 pictures has spawned some renewed insight that warrants a little discussion. It is, after all, October; and that means those of us who desperately need a Michael Myers fix are unquestionably going to be digging into the crates in order to once more visit the deceptively quiet Haddonfield, home of the most terrifying and relentless murderer known to man.
Halloween: The masterpiece of all masterpieces… well, at least in terms of slasher films. John Carpenter’s Halloween hits all the right notes. The drawn-out camera shots, the general patience in the visual approach, the continuity of the story; this is all stunning work. Carpenter captures the essence of Halloween like no one else, and Laurie Strode comes to life with the great Jamie Lee Curtis approaching the character. While a few of the smaller players come off as slightly wooden, they fit wonderfully into the picture. Michael Myers, with his silent but ominous demeanor, is absolutely terrifying; and his mask – while quite simple – is the most unsettling facial accessory ever featured in a horror production. The picture has aged wonderfully (we’ve seen some stunning remastered renditions released over the last few years), and its position as king and igniter of the slasher sub-genre has long gone all but unrivaled. This is what a brilliant flick looks like.
Halloween II: While John Carpenter has expressed some disappointment in the 1981 follow-up to his career defining picture, most fans would agree that Halloween II is handled precisely as a sequel should be. The characters that matter are all present and accounted for, the immediate continuation of Carpenter’s original story is exactly what fans wanted, and the slight intensification of the gore works to take the jolts up just a notch, without becoming offensive or insulting to those who cherish purity in their horror. Dean Cundey once more returns to handle the camera, and as a result we get a piece of work that looks damn near identical to its predecessor. Play Halloween and Halloween II back-to-back, and it feels like one long, gratifying film. That’s how a sequel should play out. That’s a sequel done very right.
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: Let the comments of crucifixion spill down upon this head; it is welcomed! Season of the Witch caught a ton of shit from fans and critics alike. The problem? It doesn’t have Michael Myers in it. Well, boo-fucking-hoo! The movie still rocks the rock. This is ‘80s greatness, complete with a menacing villain, a staggeringly taboo concept, a dash of nudity, and the greatest mustache known to man. That’s right; Tom Atkins fronts the fun and chilling tale of a maniac hellbent on killing kids across the map with nifty little Halloween masks. This is a far out, kind of cosmic creep-out that – despite the absence of Myers – feels very much like a Halloween franchise film while successfully injecting a noticeable measure of fear in the hearts of viewers.
