Dread Central’s Best and Worst Horror Films of 2015
- Anthony Arrigo’s Best and Worst of 2015
- Ari Drew’s Best and Worst of 2015
- Debi “The Woman in Black” Moore’s Best and Worst of 2015
- The Foywonder’s Best and Worst of 2015
- Gareth Jones’ Best and Worst of 2015
- John Squires’ Best and Worst of 2015
- Matt Molgaard’s Best and Worst of 2015
- Paul “Nomad” Nicholasi’s Best and Worst of 2015
- Stephen Romano’s Best and Worst of 2015
- Steve “Uncle Creepy” Barton’s Best and Worst of 2015
- Todd Rigney’s Best and Worst of 2015
- Trisha Chambers’ Best and Worst of 2015
The Foywonder
2015 was actually a pretty good year for horror. Too bad few of them got wide theatrical releases. I went to the movies a lot this past year but rarely to see a horror movie. I skipped all the Blumhouse sequels and most every other formula flick.
Sure, The Visit and The Gift were all right, but I haven’t given them a second thought since. I couldn’t even bring myself to give a second thought to actually watching Unfriended or The Gallows. Meanwhile, on VOD and DVD, original horror movies were getting churned out at such a rate that I fell way behind in viewing. Even the stuff that was merely okay tended to be superior to the formulaic fright films filling the multiplex. Tales of Halloween, Spring, and Deathgasm are just a few I’ve yet to get around to. From what I did see in 2015, here’s my Best/Worst in no particular order. Except for What We Do in the Shadows; that movie is tops for me this year.
What We Do in the Shadows
If there’s one thing that became apparent this year, it’s that the horror comedy is back, and my favorite fright flick of 2015 boasted far more ha-ha than horror. Thank goodness Ryan Murphy invented this newfangled genre for all of us to enjoy. Simply put, What We Do in the Shadows is the greatest vampire comedy Monty Python never made. And I agree… I also eat a sandwich preferring to know that no one has ever fucked it.
The Final Girls
Continuing with the theme of horror comedies, though The Final Girls really sets itself apart with the amount of genuine heart on display. You don’t go into a meta slasher comedy expecting to get really sucked in by a mother-daughter relationship. Taissa Farmiga makes for one of the pluckiest final girls in recent horror memory, and Malin Akerman has never been better as her scream queen mom. Only thing holding this one back was the PG-13 rating that forced it to pull some of its punches when it comes to the kills, which lessens both the punchline of some of the deaths and the emotional gravitas of others.
As the Gods Will
Another year, another Takeshi Miike movie that may never make its way to the US. As with Lesson of the Evil, which found its way on my Best list two years ago, As the Gods Will must be seen to be believed, and hopefully everyone will get that chance eventually. If you put a gun to my head and asked me to explain what this movie is about, you might as well pull the trigger. Somewhere between Battle Royale, Krampus, and Demonic Toys lurks this incredibly imaginative, if impenetrably obtuse Takeshi Miike opus based on a manga about some mysterious higher power forcing the world to watch while Japanese teenagers fight for their lives against traditional Japanese toys in a series of lethal games. Inventive, funny, with characters you actually care about even though you’re as clueless as they are as to what the hell is going on. The final seconds take WTF-ness to dizzying new heights; yet, I was so thoroughly entertained by everything I had just witnessed. The Daruma doll that opens the film is a more compelling horror villain than 99% of the ghosts, slashers, and Jigsaw wannabes American filmmakers dream up these days. Japanese kids in a mouse costumes getting clawed to death by a giant wind-up cat toy come to life? Never change, Japan! Never ever change.
Cub
This mean-spirited entry from Belgium didn’t get nearly the love it deserved this year. Combining slasher in the woods tropes with feral children while also earning a merit badge in Saw made for a unique combination. Killing kids tends to be a taboo, even in horror films; Cub let them do the killing and get… well, I don’t want to spoil it for you. Much ado has been made about It Follows‘ John Carpenter-esque theme, but for my money Steve Moore’s synth soundtrack for Cub was the best retro Eighties horror theme of the year.
Landmine Goes Click
The feel bad movie of 2015. Not even sure I can say I enjoyed Landmine Goes Click. This anti-revenge movie is a tough film to sit through and, if you’re like me, one that will stick with you later on. The less said about it to the uninitiated the better. Just know it is not an upbeat, life-affirming production.
Honorable Mentions: Krampus, Re-Kill, It Follows, The Green Inferno (finally an Eli Roth movie I really enjoy, and everyone else hates it)
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
Have you ever seen the “Bart Gets Famous” episode of “The Simpsons”? That’s the one where Bart knocks over the set and causes chaos on the set of Krusty the Klown’s show during a live program; in response he utters the words “I didn’t do it,” causing the audience to erupt with laughter. Bart becomes an instant celebrity, and his line becomes a pop culture catchphrase. He rides those four words for all their worth until he finally finds himself back on TV doing his schtick, only this time “I didn’t do it” is greeted with deafening silence. The joke’s no longer funny. In desperation, he tosses out the words “woozle wuzzle” in hopes of getting a laugh. The audience barely musters a chuckle and walks out, this ending Bart’s 15 minutes of fame. That’s how I felt about Sharknado after watching this third installment. I know they’re already preparing a fourth film for next year. Might I suggest they title it Sharknado 4: Woozle Wuzzle?
Attack on Titan – Part 1
Toho probably should have just remade War of the Gargantuas instead of trying to condense the best anime series in years down to two 90-minute movies. The visuals required to bring Attack on Titan to live action would be daunting for even a mega-budget Hollywood production to properly capture, and while some of the Titan f/x most definitely have an eerie uncanny valley sense of horror to them, it makes no difference when the surprising dense plot has been rushed and rewritten storylines into worthless oblivion. Everything that wasn’t a giant naked Japanese zombie eating people felt like is a colossal slog to sit through. Only 90 minutes but felt three hours. I’ve yet to see Part 2. I can’t imagine it gets any better.
Gnome Alone
The first horror movie I saw this year and quite possibly the worst. Verne Troyer as a murderous monstrous garden gnome sounds like the makings of a b-movie horror comedy classic. The results are anything but. Only thing Gnome Alone succeeds in doing is make you greatly appreciate how witty, well made, and inspired the Leprechaun movies are. Yeah, it was that damn awful.
Muck
The worst thing about Muck is seeing how great looking the aesthetics are and knowing there’s real talent behind the camera. Imagine if those involved tried making a real movie instead of – I don’t even know what this was supposed to be. Like the id of a slasher movie brought to life after being filtered through the mind of frat boy date rapist? I’m not sure how to describe Muck other than to call it one of the year’s sorriest excuses for a horror film.
“Fear the Walking Dead”
In lieu of another movie I dedicate my final slot to the biggest waste of time on TV this year. Did “The Walking Dead” really have one of its best seasons yet, or did it just appear to be really good because I had just endured enduring six punishingly dull and pointless episodes of an unnecessary spin-off devoid of a single character I liked or even so much as gave a damn about? “Fear” took six hours to tell a story most zombie movies do in less than two. I stuck with it hoping there would be some big payoff that made my sticking with it all worthwhile. Nope.
Dishonorable Mentions: Knock Knock, Shark Lake, Krampus the Christmas Devil, Bugs 3D
