It’s that time of year again, kids! Time for Dread Central’s Best and Worst Horror Films of 2016 lists. We have a whopping 13 people weighing in (including one done comics style), and we’ve also compiled everyone’s picks to come up with the year’s overall winners and losers.
Anthony kicks things off for us. The other contributors’ picks can be found by scrolling through the pages or clicking the links below.
We averaged out the top and bottom vote-getters on our collective lists, and here are the results:
BEST: THE WITCH, TRAIN TO BUSAN (tie)
Runners-up: Green Room, The Monster, The Conjuring 2, Don’t Breathe (tied for 2nd); 10 Cloverfield Lane, Lights Out (tied for 3rd)
WORST: 31
Runners-up: The Forest (2nd); The Disappointments Room, Blair Witch (tied for 3rd)
Anthony Arrigo
2016 was a bit of an atypical year for my horror viewing habit because, although I did watch plenty of genre films, most came from the ’80s. I rarely go to see horror movies in theaters because, frankly, I just can’t deal with audiences these days. The last few attempts I made were plagued by teenage girls on their cellphones, constant chatter, endless shrieking for even the tamest moments of terror – I’m done, and since the window from theater to home video is continually shrinking, there isn’t much drive for me to chance it. Besides, nearly everything interesting is still happening on VOD.
All of that being said, I managed to watch a few dozen new films and out of all those could only come up with four each that were worthy of being called “Best” or “Worst”:
The Witch – This is horror done right. Robert Eggers’ olden tale of a woodland witch breeding paranoia and mistrust among a once-tight knit family is a potent picture. There are savage moments strew throughout the deliciously desaturated photography; I may never look at a mortar & pestle the same way again. The cast does some amazing work, especially Harvey Scrimshaw as the family’s eldest boy, but the real star of the show here is the most metal goat ever committed to film, Black Phillip.
The Neon Demon – The horror elements in Nicolas Winding Refn’s latest don’t become apparent until the third act, but man, once that reveal is made, suddenly all expectations are subverted and the film becomes an entirely different beast. Refn is very much a “love him or hate him” filmmaker – I don’t see how anyone can simply be indifferent to his work – and the merits of this film are no less debated than those of his last masterpiece, Only God Forgives (2013). On the surface The Neon Demon seems awfully superficial and lacking in any deep characterization or substance – and that is entirely the point. As usual, and as the title suggests, this is a bright, shiny film that is beautifully shot and perfectly scored, a duty once again handled by Cliff Martinez.
Hush – In terms of pure, earned tension, no other film tops this one. Mike Flanagan is a director I’ve been keeping an eye on since Oculus (2013) and his follow-up picture just shot him onto my Must Watch Every Film He Does list. A mute woman who lives in a small house in the woods is preyed upon by a sadistic masked killer. The entire film takes place at one location. This guy doesn’t just want to kill his intended victim, though; he plans to play a lengthy game of cat & mouse to draw out her misery. Our heroine is no idiot, making every right decision viewers want to see, but the killer is no dummy, too, and the interplay between the two of them is matter-of-fact and chilling.
For the record, my favorite non-horror film of the year is Shane Black’s The Nice Guys, which was criminally overlooked and completely rejected by audiences.
31 – Rob Zombie may not be a good filmmaker, but at the very least he’s usually more interesting than this. When no studio would give him the money to finance this picture, he turned to his fans to cough up the dough. What they got was a white trash remake of The Running Man (1987) with Malcolm McDowell in a powdered wig subbing in for Richard Dawson, interchangeable clowns replacing the likes of Subzero and Buzzsaw, and cinematography that looks like someone handed Michael J. Fox a camera and strapped him to a rodeo bull. This is a boring, repetitive, ugly movie that has no replay value… unless maybe you are all about that Juggalo life.
The Shallows – Once again an animal steals the show, and I don’t mean the mammoth shark. The honors this time around go to Steven Seagull, who manages to upstage a bikini-clad Blake Lively. Let that sink in for a moment. This movie was just dumb, and I’m usually a sucker for dumb shark movies. Between the bad writing, overuse of slow-mo, lazy voiceover play-by-play, and cloying family crap, it still felt long at a mere 80-something minutes. And what was the deal with keeping the name of the beach so secret for the entire film, only to never actually reveal the name? Also, that shark was, what, 25-30 feet? It bit a man in half! Yet, when it attacks Blake, she gets off with a minor gash. That leg should’ve been gone.
Phantasm: Ravager – It pains me to be putting this one down at the bottom, but there was exactly one redeeming aspect to this film, and that was seeing Angus Scrimm on screen one last time. This final entry does nothing to advance the series mythology; if anything, it adds a dozen new questions without giving any real answers. Here’s one question I have: How could Don Coscarelli put his baby in the hands of anyone other than himself? The director, David Hartman, is best known for cartoons. This is his first live-action feature ever – and you hand him the keys to this legendary franchise? Watch it, and see for yourself why that was the worst idea ever.
Matt Boiselle
All right, gang – here’s my listing of the 5 films that yanked on my funny buttons this year, as well as the 5 that made me want to run directly into oncoming traffic, so grab a chunky glass of eggnog, position yourself directly under your tree if it’s still standing (watch those needles), and enjoy.
2: The Barn – Justin Seaman’s super-cool 80’s slaughter-fest about 3 urban-legend-like killers residing in a barn on the outskirts of a small town was a nice way to wrap up 2016. Great kills, plenty of blood, and enough visual grain to make you think you needed to rewind before getting whacked with a $2.00 fee make this one all the more worthwhile.
3: The Neighbor – Bill Engvall, in a role that completely disassociates his Blue Collar Comedy persona from what he’s got going on here, was a breath of fresh air in an otherwise funky cloud of limited releases this year; and more so, it’ll make you think twice about peering in on that next-door resident of yours.
4: Parasites – Funny how all of these films I’m choosing are acting as somewhat of a cautionary tale, but none more than this little prize about the downfalls of wandering into a homeless encampment thinking your shit doesn’t stink. With a look that echoes 1993’s Judgment Night but far more violent, Robert Miano absolutely steals the spotlight here as the lead over-aggressive hobo, and this was one of those flicks that concretely strengthens my take on updating your GPS regularly.
5: Cruel Summer – While not entirely “horror” in scope, this film about bullying and its tragic effects not only widened my eyes, but brought a tear to them as well. Watching a disabled youth suffer such torment is hardly entertainment, but it’s the overall theme that provides a wake-up call to a society that’s undergoing changes (and not necessarily for the better). Directors Phillip Escott and Craig Newman hit a home run with this one – seek it out if the mood strikes you.
Five Worst Films of 2016 – Wait, I only get to pick 5? Well, this certainly won’t be easy. For those thinking I’m going to jump on the hate-train for Blair Witch, I’ll save you the babble that is my writing – yeah, I despised it, but I figured that movie will already be on a shit-ton of lists, so I’ll spare your peepers.
2: Zombies – What more can you say, really? The never-ending glut of undead crap-fiestas certainly didn’t let up in 2016, and this one stood firmly atop the compost heap, with its flag firmly planted in the fertilizer. Not even the presence of the indomitable Tony Todd could prevent this cargo-ship of human waste from sinking Titanic-style.
3: House of VHS – Now for all intents and purposes, I truly know that this film was made for laughs, and even that failed on a catastrophic level. With language from a bunch of clods that resembled a Rosetta Stone CD from Hell itself, this lame videotape anthology flick traveled slower than an Amish drag-race and offered no redeeming visual quality whatsoever. The only worthwhile objective I can see here is to gather up any copies of this manure manifestation and BURN THEM WITHOUT RESERVATION.
4: Cleaver: Rise of the Killer Clown – The only thing more painful than to sit through this garbage was to watch the news every damn night and listen to stories about some jerkoff in every American town dressing up like a clown and attempting to scare the Velveeta out of unsuspecting people. Lame, lame, lame – all I can say, and the true crime here is that the performance of the killer clown himself, Andrew Greenwood, was completely wasted on this debacle.
5: The Final Project – Appropriately enough, the final film in my quintet of abhorrent spectacles for the year 2016 has the word “final” in its title, and fitting to not only the eyes but also the ears, this found-footage fiasco takes us to a haunted plantation, where a bunch of droning college students aim to do a little ghost hunting. Suffice to say, we’re all in for a nauseating, boring, and ultimately taxing toll on our existences by simply pressing “play.” Stop the ride… I wanna get off.
In closing, whether or not you disagree with my lists, I’d like to take a quick second to simply thank all of you for just coming to read my mindless ramblings over the course of the calendar year. Hope you all are enjoying your holiday season, and I sincerely wish that you’ll all come back to us in 2017… as I’m sure there will be more to toss on the fire. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
April Marie
There were tons of great horror films in 2016 and even more that were absolutely atrocious. I made it a habit this year to watch as many terrible looking horror films as I could get my hands on so it was hard to sift through my miasmac memories to decide which were the worst of the bunch. Even more difficult was remembering the ones that actually didn’t suck. But here we go, everyone… my Best and Worst of 2016!
4) Lights Out – David Sandberg’s name was on many lips this year as a killer breakout star in the Hollywood directorial world. From humble means as a short filmmaker, David was noticed by the right people and given the chance to work with a much bigger budget. As feature film debuts go, Lights Out is fantastic. It was far more hilarious than I ever thought it would be, but the humor blended brilliantly with the terror of the film’s villain. In my opinion Lights Out was the best PG-13 horror flick to come out this year.
3) The Conjuring 2 – I was fortunate enough to see The Conjuring 2 in theaters and am very glad I did. James Wan is really in a position to be one of the greatest horror directors of his time. His films are masterfully shot, very entertaining, and above all still manage to be scary. The acting in The Conjuring 2 was great, and as soon as I walked out of the theater, I was ready to watch it again.
2) The Wailing – I have always adored foreign films, and when it comes to horror, Korea is always near the top when it comes to quality. The Wailing is steeped in mystery from the very beginning. You’re not entirely sure what’s happening until much later in the film, and even then you’re still not sure whom to trust. This ambiguity takes your attention and holds on tight to it until the very end. Bonus points: Shaman ritual battles are crazy fun to watch.
1) Don’t Breathe – At this point in my horror watching career, there aren’t many films that give me much trouble anymore. I say this because Don’t Breathe was a major exception to the rule. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Don’t Breathe made me physically uncomfortable watching it in theaters. Fede Alvarez’s attention to detail is exceptional, and I left theaters thankful that it was over. And I mean that in the best way possible. If a horror movie was so horrifying that you’re glad to be freed from its clutches, it’s done its job.
Honorable Mentions: Morgan, Train to Busan, 10 Cloverfield Lane, The Boy
4) The Forest – I’ll be one of the first to admit that Natalie Dormer is exceptionally beautiful and an agreeable actor to boot. It was because of her that I was tentatively looking forward to watching The Forest when I first heard about it. And if it hadn’t been for her, I definitely wouldn’t have watched as much as I did. A boring romp through what is otherwise one of the most horrifying real-life locations, The Forest literally put me to sleep.
3) The Good Neighbor – Want to watch a couple teens neglected by their parents do harm to an old man to make them feel better about themselves? Want to watch them “haunt” him, all under the guise of filming the next Paranormal Activity? Want to watch the old man’s life unravel all because these kids have nothing better to do? Then give The Good Neighbor a watch. Personally, I’d like that hour and thirty-eight minutes of my life back.
2) The Final Project – Found footage films. When you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all… generally speaking. In The Final Project a bunch of students attempt to film a movie about a haunted plantation. The successive “assembled footage” falls smack dab in the middle of found footage films you’ve already seen. A few spooky jump scares later you’ll wish you could give these kids an “F” yourself if they weren’t already dead.
1) The Witch – Art films that are as equally enjoyable to watch as they are groundbreaking can be hard to come by. The Witch initially seemed like it might fall into that category for me, and then… the actors opened their mouths. I have a unique perspective in the industry being that I’m hearing-impaired. When I first saw The Witch, I did not have the luxury of subtitles and therefore missed damned near everything in the film. The shots were great, the subjects were intriguing, but the inability to understand what anyone said ruined the entire thing for me.
Dishonorable Mentions: I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, The Invitation
David Gelmini
There were so many real-life horrors in 2016 that the fictional side of the genre was almost rendered obsolete. In any case, I felt that it was a fairly average year for horror movies overall with a few genuinely exceptional films being found along with a whole heap of shit.
2. The Purge: Election Year – With The Purge, we have a rare example of a franchise that actually gets better with each installment. What really made Election Year stand out was how it tried to get to the meat and bones of what would compel voters to support the insane idea of legalizing all crime for one night. Seeing as we live in a world where Donald Trump will soon be in the White House, it may not even be as far-fetched as it sounds.
3. 10 Cloverfield Lane – I wish it hadn’t been PG-13, but goddamn, John Goodman was great in this. It was one of the best things I’ve seen him in for a while, and that’s saying something as he seems to be in pretty much every other film these days. The way that it also makes you think and leaves you to fill in the blanks yourself, instead of talking down to its audience, was also commendable.
4. Independence Day: Resurgence – Yes, I liked Independence Day: Resurgence. Got a problem with that? I’ll admit that there were far too many subplots and characters packed into the 120-minute runtime, but this still had me on the edge of my seat from start of finish. The battle with the giant queen at the end was also one of the most memorable visual spectacles of 2016. Too bad that with a total worldwide gross of $389,681,935, we won’t get the proposed third movie, which was promised to have been an “intergalactic journey.” Sigh.
1. 31 – The Devil’s Rejects is one of my favorite horror movies of all time so I’m really disappointed with Mr. Zombie this year for churning out a dull, by-the-numbers snoozefest which lacks even a single memorable character or line of dialogue. And Doom-Head is no Otis Driftwood.
3. The Conjuring 2 – As a lifelong horror fan, I really don’t feel comfortable with the sudden upsurge of gore-free, jump scare-focused films that seem to have overtaken the genre. The Conjuring 2 is a prime offender, with an over-reliance on jump scares and little onscreen blood that if Warner Bros. tried to appeal the rating to the MPAA, they probably could have got it lowered to a PG-13 without making any cuts or edits.
By the way, if I called the police to investigate a disturbance and they told me that my house was haunted, I think I’d put in a complaint to my local council about the fact that my tax dollars went towards such poor law enforcement training. And knowing the name of a demon/ghost/whatever allows you to defeat it? I guess they forgot to tell that to every other horror movie character ever. And don’t get me started on those damn exaggerated Cockney accents…
4. Ghostbusters – I have no time or respect for the SJWs who say that anyone who criticizes this year’s Ghostbusters reboot is a filthy misogynist. I’m all for seeing more blockbusters led by female protagonists, but the sad truth is that not only was Ghostbusters painfully unfunny, but it also desperately tried to evoke feeling of nostalgia for the original classic in an almost desperate attempt to resonate with audiences. Paul Feig repeatedly turned down the chance to direct the film, so clearly he had no interest in the source material, a fact that is all too apparent everywhere you look.
Side Note: I have nothing but respect for Disney for releasing not one, but two Star Wars movies featuring female protagonists. And unlike Ghostbusters, their films were actually good.
5. Dead Rising: Endgame – This sequel takes everything that made its processor mildly enjoyably and sticks it where the sun don’t shine. No Rob Riggle, no humor, and a huge decrease in gore made this quite possibly the worst zombie film of the year.
Mr. Dark
The temptation to jump right into about 10 different jokes about how much 2016 sucked runs strong, but now that we’re almost through it, none of them seems particularly funny. I’ll just get right to the movies.
The Witch – It’s a source of controversy, and I have no idea why, but The Witch isn’t just the best horror movie of 2016… it’s one of the best movies of the year, period. It’s a masterpiece, that rare gem of a perfect film. Everything came together exactly right for first-time feature director Robert Eggers, making an instant star of Anya Taylor-Joy in a harrowing tale of every Puritan’s nightmare come true.
The Conjuring 2 – James Wan can do no wrong. The man just keeps putting out the best cinema one film after the other. This is a sequel, and it’s a case that really didn’t involve the Warrens very much at all, which makes it a weak choice to adapt to film. And yet, the movie is genius. Gorgeous, meticulously crafted genius.
Lights Out – Wan again, in a way. I have to believe he had a hand in guiding the adaptation of David Sandberg’s terrifying short film. Having rock star screenwriter Eric Heisserer on board to handle scripting duties couldn’t have hurt. A great monster, a great mythos, an original concept, and strong execution made for one of the year’s best.
Last Girl Standing – This one held up to the competition to make it into my final five. This indie debuted at Texas Frightmare Weekend this year, and it kicked my ass. Part character drama examining trauma survivors, part indie romance, part slasher movie, it’s a real gem.
The Ones I Haven’t Seen – No, that isn’t a film title. Despite my best efforts, I missed a few this year. Part of that is due to some very late releases, such as The Autopsy of Jane Doe and Abattoir. I also haven’t tracked down Train to Busan yet, and given my love for Korean horror, I expect that one to be awesome. I also somehow managed to skip hot properties like The Neon Demon and Under The Shadow. So I’m giving this last slot to the ones I haven’t seen. I’m confident one or more of these would have made the list, but 2016 was such a great year for horror the output overcame my ability to input.
I don’t like “worst” lists. They’re inherently incorrect. I watch a lot of really horrible movies that get dumped on the various streaming services every year. There are dozens of these that could fill “worst” lists till the end of time. What you’re really looking for here are well-known movies that someone didn’t like, so I’ll serve up a dose of that. Here are some movies you’ve heard of that I didn’t dig.
Don’t Breathe – Yeah, yeah, I’m in a small crowd with this one, but it’s the winner of this year’s It Follows Award for most overrated horror film. Much like the aforementioned oh-so-hip choice, a horrible script kills this one. Everyone does incredibly stupid things repeatedly; yet, we’re supposed to either love or hate them. Our villain is kind of an anti-hero but has a mania that doesn’t even play by its own rules. Then we have the non-ending that makes even less sense than the story so far. I have no idea what everyone sees in this one.
31 – I kinda hate to kick a guy when he’s down, but people need to stop giving Rob Zombie money to make movies. He’s got talent, but only when reined in by producers who can keep his creations watchable. Lords of Salem was good, I thought, but this is a thousand steps back. A flaccid excuse to show a bunch of his favorite actors in ultraviolent combat with a bunch of freaks, there’s no story here. You don’t care about anyone, you have no investment in anything, it’s just a bunch of people kicking the crap out of other people while wearing funny clothing. Zombie needs therapy and a screenwriter; then we may get a good movie out of him again.
Now, here’s to a better 2017. Honestly, the Sweet Relief Meteor could strike January 2nd, and it’d still be a better year than this one.
Scott “Foywonder” Foy
2016 Was actually a pretty good year for horror. It was also a year I barely went to the theater to see a horror movie. I still haven’t seen most of the year’s widely released horror movies. Maybe I’ve just grown bored with the Blumhouse and I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Blumhouse horror movies. There’s so much I haven’t seen; yet, I still had no problem filling out my best. I skipped so many bad horror movies this year filling out my worst list was actually harder. That’s a good thing.
Train to Busan – This is the movie World War Z should have been: inventive, scary, exciting, funny, and, particularly the ending, emotionally devastating. I’m hard-pressed to think of the last time the conclusion of a horror movie, especially one from the oversaturated zombie genre, made me a little misty-eyed. Not just my favorite horror movie of 2016, Train to Busan might be my favorite movie of the entire year.
The Witch – I totally get why a lot of people don’t like this movie because this is typically the moody, low-key, art house horror movie I would be first to decry as overrated. Yet, there I was, absolutely riveted by every eerie, unsettling moment of it. I’m sure this is popping up on a plethora of best lists so I’ll let everyone else explain why. Anchored by star-making performances from Anya Taylor-Joy and the greatest goat in satanic panic cinema history, The Witch was never destined for the mainstream success it so richly deserved. To the detractors of this film, just remember the next time you’re decrying the next reboot, remake, sequel, prequel, or latest Blumhouse-style nothing’s-there-jump-scare-a-thon that you chose not to live deliciously.
The Horde – Remember the scene in The Hills Have Eyes when the mutants set the dad on fire in front of his terrified family? The Horde flips the script by having a mutant get torched in front of his fellow fiends by the badass ex-Special Forces soldier fighting to save his schoolteacher girlfriend and her class after they get stalked and taken captive by inbred mutants working for escaped cons running a meth lab in the deep dark woods. Preposterous, occasionally clunky, but watching Jason-meets-Taken brutally slaughter the murderous mutants and hammy criminals in ways that would make even a hardened movie slasher wince was loads of fun. I’d call this my guilty pleasure movie of the year, but I don’t really feel all that guilty about it.
“Ash vs. Evil Dead” – Hey, remember when horror could also be fun? Remember when horror could also make you laugh while still being horrific? Ash remembers. It may have taken them a full season to find their footing, but this year “Ash vs. Evil Dead” came out running full steam ahead. Hopefully, the creative differences that caused the season finale to fall a bit flat won’t ruin things for Season 3 because this is probably the most enjoyable half hour of horror television to splatter the airwaves since “Tales from the Darkside.”
Honorable Mentions: 10 Cloverfield Lane, Green Room, The Autopsy of Jane Doe, Clown
31 – Nothing exemplifies everything wrong with 31 greater than the character of “Doom-Head.” He looks cool. When he talks, he sounds kind of cool. But if you actually pay attention, you realize he really doesn’t do all that much; and as much as he’s prone to run on at that mouth, little of what he says actually adds up to anything of substance. That’s 31 as a whole. Rob Zombie’s latest foray into pointless self-flagellating nihilism that once again proves that as much as the man has an eye for filming a shot, he really needs to start letting someone, anyone, else write the scripts.
Yoga Hosers – I make no bones about having put the oddity that was Tusk on my Best list a few years back. I loved it despite absolutely despising Johnny Depp’s Inspector Clouseau routine and that very long sequence when said character encountered Michael Parks for a painfully unfunny clash of silly accents. Either Kevin Smith mistakenly believed everyone actually loved that scene or he decided, as he is tiresomely prone to doing, to push back against his critics by making that tone and style of humor the focal point of this horror-comedy that fails miserably at being either. A shame, too, since the lead girls have a fun chemistry that could have elevated a movie that wasn’t just Smith’s celebrity friends doing unfunny cameos, a plot about mini Nazi sausage monsters that wouldn’t even pass muster as a Gingerdead Man sequel, and Smith’s latest movie that hinges on a character with a vendetta against critics. Sigh. There’s always Moose Jaws.
Bat Out of Hell – This Aussie indie monster bat movie compels me to take a moment to go over a few quick rules of basic filmmaking:
1) Your first act should not be an hour long.
2) You second act should not be less than ten minutes.
3) You should actually have a third act.
4) You can’t just slap text on the screen because you seemingly ran out of funding to finish your movie.
5) Did I mention your movie actually has to have a resolution and not just climactic text amounting to “And then they headed off to rescue the girl from the monster”?
“Aftermath” – In the first episode of Syfy’s everything-but-the-kitchen sink post-apocalyptic mash-up, with the world seemingly coming to an end around them, the Washington State family at the heart of the series watches in abject horror as their eldest daughter is carried off into the air by a flying demon. Mom’s response is to send her daughter the following rather blasé text message given the dire circumstances:
Welcome to “Aftermath,” aka the biggest clusterfuck on television. This is what happens when the people making a TV show seemingly have no game plan and no even semi-lucid idea how to tie their, admittedly, sometimes intriguing mythology together. Each episode the cast either overacts or undersells their reactions to that week’s cataclysmic events (natural disasters, shape-shifting demons, super volcanic eruptions, fever-induced madness, mythological monsters, Wayne Brady miscast as a military survivalist!, etc.) that feel like they were seemingly pulled from a hat in the writers’ room. There appears to be a bigger picture to what happens, but that picture was scribbled on a wall in crayon by a toddler. Everything that happens to these people feels random, and nobody on this show ever behaves like a rational person would. “Aftermath” is like watching the apocalyptic fever dream of a manic-depressive autistic schizoid play out before your eyes on a weekly basis. I spent 13 episodes alternating between giddy The Happening level amusement and hate-watching just to see if the makers of the show were going to ever come up with any sort of viable explanation. They didn’t.
Oh, and don’t forget to find some Tetra. Tetracycline makes everything better.
Dishonorable Mentions: The Devil Complex, Sharknado: The 4th Awakens, Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre, Ozark Sharks
Ted Hentschke
When asked by our overlord Steve “Uncle Creepy” Barton to write a Best/Worst list, I was tempted to just list “2016” under worst and be done with it. But what we lose in the fire we shall find in the ashes, and the greatest blaze still keeps us warm. So in the spirit of silver linings, I did my best to concoct a list of “musts” and “must nots” of 2016.
There are are two things to remember when going into my list. First, I did my best not to include too many indie films on the “worst” side. There’s always a deluge of shitty micro-budget attempts to cash in on the horror market, and including them would be like wading through the sewer to find the most noxious nuggets of shit. If you’re the kind of person that follows a lot of indie horror, you should already know where to set your expectations. This list is more for horror fans who haven’t seen everything this year and are looking for which titles to watch. The indie films I included are ones that generated enough buzz that it’s reasonable you might have heard of them. The second thing to remember is that this is not an “ironic” list. The “worst” movies are not ones I’m trashing out of spite, and the “best” are not “so bad they’re good.” I know that a lot of people go through “worst” lists to try to find the next The Room, but don’t. These are films I genuinely didn’t enjoy and don’t think you will either. If you ruin your night with one of them, that shit is on you.
4) Southbound – Horror anthology films are always a mixed bag. Watching V/H/S again, it’s easy to see why the first short was the one to get a feature film. Southbound is one of the few where every single segment stands up. It manages to have something for everyone without pandering to specifics or dipping in quality to schlock. Consistently solid and, most importantly, always interesting, it comes together as a package in a way most anthology films don’t.
3) Green Room – All wildly different, I can’t think of a Jeremy Saulnier film I wouldn’t recommend (though there are only three). One of the few directors whom I’d watch for name alone, he has a talent for making the most ridiculous stories feel grounded and real. If you were to write on paper “punk band fights for survival against neo-Nazis led by Captain Picard in a rock club,” it would sound silly. With Saulnier’s direction, we have one of the grittiest and most entertaining films of the year. Switching flawlessly from black comedy to brutal violence at the drop of a hat, this should not be missed.
2) They’re Watching – A found footage movie on a top list? In 2016!?!? MADNESS! Don’t worry… I haven’t lost my mind. I’m kind of a glutton for bad found footage films, but even I can admit that the genre has 98% worn out its welcome. And yet, every once in a while, something comes along that gives me a spark of hope. They’re Watching was the one truly good thing to come out of found footage this year, and Christ, was it fun! The cast is genuinely likable, premise entertaining, and jokes legitimately funny. It’s all topped off with a final 15 minutes that ride the schlock train to crazy town on an explosion of lasers and frog transmutations. Put your prejudice aside for 90 minutes, and enjoy.
1) Lights Out – Lights Out is a movie I really hoped would be good. A first-time director turning his popular internet short into a feature length film, this was going to be either a cynical Hollywood cash grab or a Cinderella story. Luckily for David Sandberg and horror audiences, it turned out to be the latter. While similar adaptations stretch the premise with a bare bones plot, Lights Out created a new heart for the movie and built the scares around it. It touched on issues like mental health in a surprisingly grounded fashion, never feeling exploitative. The characters were all well rounded and important, with the typically disposable “boyfriend guy” adding an actual dynamic to the story. Most importantly, it was scary as hell, with some of the most creative and rewarding ghostly assaults this year. This well deserves the top spot.
5) Hell House LLC – Might as well start shit off with a bang. I put this on here knowing full well that some of you loved this film. Similar to how I can understand that people didn’t like The Monster for the bad monster bits, I can see how people liked Hell House LLC for the creative premise and constant scares. If this movie were as good as the first 20 minutes, it might be on the other side of this list. Holy fuck, does this devolve into cliché and missed opportunities. There is so much wrong with this film that I seriously can’t remember why I considered forgiving it. If you need more of what I think, we had a whole podcast on it you can find here. Enjoy.
3) I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House – More like “I Am the Boring Movie That Lives on the Netflix.”
2) The Disappointments Room – If you liked this movie, please seek help. I had to stop it multiple times throughout because I had more interesting shit to do, like clip my toenails. The premise is like a bad version of The Skeleton Key, but with no payoff and a less interesting backstory. I considered doing another snarky comment like “The Disappointments Room? That’s what the theater felt like!” But then people would have actually had to be in the theater to be disappointed.
1) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies – On a positive note, it is just as boring as a Jane Austen novel. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a testament to the fact that just adding zombies to shit doesn’t make it interesting. I’m all for trying new things, but I can’t figure out whom this movie appeals to. I can imagine the boardroom that greenlit this film, congratulating each other over their new film that would bring girls to the zombie genre by appealing to their feminine senses and love of fancy dresses. Funny thing, though… girls already like horror. And they hate boring, drawn-out drivel as much as dudes do. Fancy that.
Gareth Jones
Train to Busan
I don’t know what to say except a bunch of superlatives you’ve likely already been privy to on the film’s posters, so I’ll just leave it at this: The genre event of the year. That’s it.
Director Lawrie Brewster and his writing compatriot Sarah Daly step up their game from the impressively Henry James-like Lord of Tears to deliver a completely different – and staggeringly creatively minded – animal. A bravely discombobulating visual narrative and a much more than puddle deep probing of the effects of PTSD make for a horror experience that genuinely stands out. We’re in the growth stages of a bona fide auteur here folks… keep an eye on him.
Green Room
Jeremy Saulnier goes three for three with this unbelievably brutal survival horror. A more than fitting swan song for the tragically departed Anton Yelchin, Green Room is wall-to-wall dismay on a distinctly human level. Consistently tense, and completely unafraid to rip everything away from you without even a moment’s notice, Saulnier’s film also sees Patrick Stewart at his most quietly malevolent.
The Void
Astron-6 cohorts Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski take a detour from the usual comedy-horror leanings of their collective to bring us an exercise in sheer terror and stunningly rendered monster madness. Dishing up practical effects galore, The Void delivers the gooey goods without compromising on the fear factor. Sure, the story itself is a bit lacking in the end, but there were very few more intense experiences in 2016.
Pet
What looks like your standard glossy “obsessed nutcase kidnaps the object of his affection” flick flips the script in brilliant style, anchored by eminently impressive performances by its two leads. Assured direction, an intelligent script and nuanced character work makes this one of the most absorbing psycho-thrillers of the year.
A remake that takes the camp of the original and manages not to pay homage to it, but to rip it out and replace it with utter incompetence. Unintentionally hilarious (and not in a good way), populated by horrible performances and an even more horrible script, 2016’s Blood Feast is a legitimately worthless mess that doesn’t even live up to its ultra-gory aspirations.
Abattoir
Darren Lynn Bousman is a visual genius – capable of conjuring up some wondrously inventive fantastical imagery – but whilst Abattoir more than succeeds on that front, the story itself is a fractured mess. Anachronistic styling proves more irritating than intriguing, and slapdash storytelling kills any interest in the proceedings stone dead before the (admittedly) notable finale.
Downhill
Take a dash of Lovecraft and a bit of wilderness survival, cook it up with some satanic creature spices and what’s not to love? Well… pretty much everything in this insipid attempt to generate scares. The gunshots alone are a master class in how not to present action on-screen.
Blair Witch
Quite possibly the single biggest disappointment of the year, what could have been a mythology-exploding return to a fervently analyzed franchise winds up offering little more than an uninvolving retread through familiar ground. The odd pleasantly intense sequence and a few answered questions just don’t make up for the laziness on display. Where the original ended on a chilling, genre-defining note… this one goes out with a “meh.”
Yoga Hosers
One of the most offensively bad pieces of cinema to waste my time this year, Yoga Hosers is worthless in every regard. Horrifically unfunny and completely uninvolving, Kevin Smith doesn’t even manage to make toilet humour amusing throughout this languid mess of a film. And no… Guy LaPointe is not an entertaining character.
Matt Molgaard
2016 ended up being a solid year for the genre. We saw a lot of slick and creepy films hit the market, which makes it a challenge to acknowledge just a handful of films as the best of the best. But I’m going to give it a try, and I’m probably going to surprise a few with some of these choices.
The Monster – The Monster really impresses in its ability to isolate psychological terror and chill us to the bone while simultaneously painting a monstrous portrait that’s fit to appeal to the hardcore creature feature fanatic. We get a couple of great characters trapped in what seems to be a hopeless scenario, and we get a big bad nasty thing that’s content in destroying anything that breathes. Bryan Bertino’s ability to make the titular beast so terrifying while showing the viewer so little of said creature is just pure brilliance.
Train to Busan – I’m not saying I hate zombie movies, but I’m pretty tired of them, and they very, very rarely do much to leave me feeling entertained. Enter Train to Busan, a movie about zombies on a train. Truth is, this one is about a hell of a lot more than that. It makes some societal commentary while introducing viewers to a few mesmerizingly awesome personalities and a few characters so grating they’ll have you contemplating punching the screen. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen a zombie movie with so many colorful layers, so this one gets immense respect from me because I was beginning to believe I’d never again love a zombie movie. And then along came a movie about zombies on a train.
Green Room – A few years back Anton Yelchin battled his way onto my favorite performer list (along with Clint Eastwood, Clu Gulager, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Bill Murray). Considering Yelchin’s youth and relative inexperience (at least compared to my other favorites), that even stunned me. But Yelchin had something special about him – something that we don’t often see, and I saw that and fell in love with the man’s work. It just so happens Green Room is one of his absolute best. It’s a gritty crime piece with brutal violence, excellent gore, and characters one can really invest in. It’s awesome from the first minute to the last, and that’s where I’m going to bring this paragraph to an end because I can gush on this flick for hours on end.
Don’t Breathe – The big genre flick that actually lived up to its hype, Fede Alvarez’s Don’t Breathe was captivating. It holds a unique distinction in the sense that the title actually inspires the viewers’ response to the viewing experience. Half of the packed theater I caught this one in had turned purple, the tension forcing everyone to choke back exhalation. It’s a super tense movie, and it blurs the lines between protagonist and antagonist to perfection. Who is the bad guy in this depressing but astoundingly impressive film? Better yet, who’s the true villain? Masterful stuff from Fede, who hit a home run and a half by casting Stephen Lang as “The Blind Man.”
I tend to load up my “worst of” portion with all the failed micro films that wriggle into our lives every year, but this time I wanted to put a little focus on some of the higher profile duds. There were a slew of bigger budget shitstorms this year, but isolating the five greatest disappointments should prove fairly easy. Here we go…
The Forest – A dull, tired film that never attempts to be inventive, despite the fact that the story operates within a highly compelling setting. Bland performances, disappointing script, and a run time that feels about 80 minutes too long, The Forest is a mainstream clunker in every way imaginable.
Carnage Park – Carnage Park was supposed to be the indie smash of 2016, but if there was any smash involved in this one, it was the hope of genre fanatics after plummeting back to reality. Mickey Keating has done some great things for horror, and he has a few fan favorite flicks under his belt; I suppose it was about time he ran into a wall. The film does have one good thing going for it, however: It will knock your ass unconscious for an extended period of time… keep that in mind if you’ve got insomnia issues.
Ratter – I’ve seen a lot of really bad found footage films, but most of them look like masterpieces when compared to Ratter. This is a lifeless, boring heap of shit that asks viewers to live inside the mind of a shallow teenie bopper “finding her way” in the world, all so we can see a 10-second “payoff” at the end. What a depressing piece of shit.
The Darkness – I didn’t think it was possible to bring Greg McLean and Kevin Bacon together and produce an atypically predictable and soulless film. That just sounds like an impossibility to me. Yet, it happened here. Watch the first 15 minutes of The Darkness, and I guarantee you that you’ll accurately predict every single beat of the film, right up to the connect-the-dots finale. The Darkness was so bad I’m actually nervous and concerned for McLean’s future in the business.
Debi “The Woman in Black” Moore
Here it is again… the end of the year and time to reflect on the best and worst horror movies we saw during 2016. Truth be told, I didn’t see much that was terrible. Some disappointments, some missed opportunities, sure; but flat-out “worst”? Not an easy task to choose, and I’ll get to what made the cut shortly.
But first let’s shine a light on the stars of 2016, those films (and a few TV shows) that made it all worthwhile. Here are The Woman in Black’s picks for Best of the Year…
The runners-up include my favorite movie of the year – Swiss Army Man. Is it really a horror movie? I’m honestly not sure so to satisfy the purists in the crowd, I’ve left it off my main list. Which is also the case for Netflix’s “Stranger Things,” Fox’s “The Exorcist,” and Starz’s “Ash vs. Evil Dead,” three series that should be required viewing for anyone claiming to be a horror fan; but, again for the sticklers who feel we should stick to the silver screen, they’re relegated to the sidelines. (Actually, if you include WGN America’s “Salem,” which is sadly leaving us at the end of this season, and Hulu’s “Freakish,” right there are five TV shows that make a pretty impressive Best of 2016 list just among themselves.)
But we’re here to talk movies, and the rest of my honorable mentions include Norwegian catastrophe drama The Wave, Rob Zombie’s kick-ass return to form 31, the stellar sequel The Conjuring 2, sci-fi superstar Arrival, and just squeaking in at the end of the year, The Autopsy of Jane Doe, which kept me at the edge of my seat for its entire runtime (forget The Witch – this is “the” sorcery film of the year).
Now, as for the crème de la crème…
The Neighbor – Casting comedian Bill Engvall against type worked out well for director Marcus Dunstan as The Neighbor was by far the best suspense thriller of the year. As our own Matt Boiselle said, it’s “an amazingly taut and tightly-wound package” of psychological terror that should be on everyone’s must-see list.
The Monster – Is The Monster “as flawless a horror film – and specifically a monster movie – you’re likely to find in this or any other year,” as Staci Layne Wilson stated in her review? Is it really “an instant classic”? On both counts I wholeheartedly agree! The two co-stars, Zoe Kazan and Ella Ballentine, command the screen like few others managed to do this year; and if the emotional father/daughter journey of Train to Busan isn’t enough for you, then The Monster’s impactful mother/daughter tale is sure leave you with a lump in your throat and a trail of tissues on the floor beside you.
Hush – Director Mike Flanagan again lands on one of my Best of lists (his earlier effort Absentia was my favorite of 2011) with the home invasion thriller with a twist, Hush. Starring relative unknown (and Flanagan’s co-writer on the film) Kate Siegel as a deaf woman who fights for her life against a masked killer, Hush quietly but assuredly cements its place as one of the year’s standout films.
10 Cloverfield Lane – If Oscar decides to honor a genre actor this year, then everyone should just get out of John Goodman’s way because hands down he deserves it for his work in 10 Cloverfield Lane, my favorite film of the year after Swiss Army Man. This movie has it all – tension/suspense, claustrophobia, incredible performances, and even big beasties! Plus, along with Goodman, we get Mary Elizabeth Winstead, my personal horror MVP of 2016. Besides her work in 10 Cloverfield Lane and Swiss Army Man, she shone brightly in CBS’s short-lived “BrainDead,” about a brain-eating alien parasite running wild in Washington, D.C., which was probably a bit too timely and on the nose for some people’s tastes. (Next up for her is the new season of “Fargo,” and you can be sure we’ll be tuning in!)
As for this Woman’s picks for Worst of the Year, I mostly avoided things that looked like crap so while I had no trouble picking my best of the year, coming up with five stinkers was problematic, which is why only three made the cut. A few dishonorable mentions include the anthology Holidays (one of those “missed opportunities” mentioned above) and Morgan (with its pedigree – Ridley Scott produced; and Kate Mara, Anya Taylor-Joy, Rose Leslie, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Toby Jones, and Paul Giamatti all co-starred – it should have been “wow” but barely ended up “meh”).
The Mind’s Eye – I took a few notes while watching this one, which garnered some praise upon its release (including here on DC), but the film just didn’t work for me: “plodding… annoying… poor direction and bad delivery of dialogue… wasted idea.” Was there any redeeming factor? Just “decent makeup and effects.” All in all, this is one to avoid like the plague.
The Forest – This film wasn’t poorly made or acted, but it is incredibly dull and cheesy. It had a lot of potential given its setting (Japan’s Aokigahara, aka the Suicide Forest) but turned out to be nothing more than lightweight fluff with no substance. Everyone involved deserved better.
The Disappointments Room – You have to begrudgingly admire a movie that puts its review right in the title. Calling this film a “disappointment” is putting it mildly. It’s filled with cliché after cliché as well as wooden performances. This is one that really should have just stayed locked away in the attic.
Matt Serafini
I didn’t make a best/worst list last year because I was in full-on new parent mode, meaning I missed far more movies than I caught. I rectified that in 2016. There are a few holes in my viewing list (namely, The Monster, The Wailing, and Train to Busan), but I had no trouble finding five movies I absolutely loved (and a few I didn’t).
1. The Neon Demon – Following a polarizing theatrical release, I had a pretty good idea what to expect out of this. A neon-soaked, narratively obtuse nightmare just like the director’s previous Only God Forgives, right? Not exactly. The Neon Demon is a fairly straightforward descent into madness. A slow crawl through a world where jealousy and insanity seem like the only logical outcomes. Nicolas Winding Refn may not be for everyone, but he speaks my language. The Neon Demon is the year’s best, horror or otherwise.
3. The Shallows – If I had my way, Jaume Collet-Serra would leave the world of tepid Liam Neeson thrillers behind for good and focus on horror. From House of Wax (2005), Orphan (one of the genre’s best modern efforts, period), and now The Shallows, we find a director unafraid to tackle potentially schlocky premises with earnest flourish. The Shallows might’ve been Hardbodies vs. Sharks in lesser hands, but Collet-Serra fashions the material into an agreeable survival metaphor. Blake Lively is fierce and carries much of the movie on her shoulders, with only Steven Seagull to lighten the burden as the year’s best co-star. I love this damn movie.
4. The Witch – The Witch features an oppressive atmosphere that takes hold from the start, suffocating viewers in a way that matches our protagonist’s (Anya Taylor-Joy) inward journey. Here’s a fable about a young woman’s discovery of independence, handled without judgement or manipulation. It’s also cool to see a period horror film again, and 1630 New England is impressively recreated on a $3 million budget. General audiences balked at this, but fuck ’em. The Witch is a dreamy bedtime story peppered with genuinely terrifying moments. After this, I’m eager to see whatever director Robert Eggers comes up with next.
5. “Ash vs. Evil Dead” (Season 2) – Ash’s second season is a huge leap forward, quality-wise. Season 1 relied a bit too heavily on the charisma of its star while sitting on its laurels for everything else. Season 2, on the other hands, benefits the entire cast while, more importantly, harnessing the funhouse-style energy from Sam Raimi’s films. This year hit the ground running and refused to stop. The end result is something that feels like a worthy sequel in the series. And as the show hit its stride, I’m giddy at future possibilities.
I want to add a qualifier up front: I’m not necessarily arguing these as the “worst” films of 2016 (if that actually means anything). I no longer scrape the bottom of the barrel of yearly offerings just to be a completionist. Instead, these are movies I went into wanting to love, only to walk out profoundly disappointed.
2. Don’t Breathe – Nothing about this mess works. The protagonists deserve everything they get and worse. The antagonist is more likable until the movie decides to turn him into a rapist for no other reason than to get you to stop rooting for him. On a technical level it looks nice, but director Fede Alvarez doesn’t know the first thing about escalating tension or sustaining suspense. As such, this piece of crap sputters along in fits and starts, collapsing beneath a mountain of unintentional hilarity and bad taste.
3. Blair Witch – As a fan of the franchise thus far, I’ve never felt like more of a sucker than when I plunked down my hard-earned cash to see this cash-in. Sixteen years after the last sequel, and Lionsgate can only deliver a souped up remake? And does this movie imply that the well-established mythology may in fact be extraterrestrial in nature? Blair Witch depresses more thanks to the incredible talent behind the camera. Director Adam Wingard and writer Simon Barrett have made some of my favorite movies of the last few years, and this franchise revival attempt feels beneath their talents.
4. Morgan – Morgan is an awkward, clunky, and half-baked sci-fi story. It’s like director Luke Scott shot the first draft of a script filled with placeholder notes. It’s aggressively stupid stuff. Every character just gives up at the halfway point, becoming willing fodder for the title character. An assortment of so-called “professionals” so terrible at their jobs, and so lacking in common sense, they’d strain credibility in a generic slasher movie. But in a movie that so desperately wants to be about something, it plays even worse. There’s no verisimilitude here. There’s nothing.
5. The Boy – Stop trying to make Brahms happen.
Steve “Uncle Creepy” Barton
2016 Sure had its ups and downs movie-wise, but thankfully the high points were a lot higher than the lows. So here they are… my best and worst horror movies of the year in no particular order!
The Monster – Now THIS! This is a monster movie and probably the most realistic one released in years. Bryan Bertino’s vision of an imperfect family colliding with the deadly unknown ticks every box on my I LOVE THIS chart and does so with ease!
Train to Busan – Just when you thought you were just about done with the living dead sub-genre that has saturated every conceivable area from the small screen to the big screen, comes a film that cranks it up to 11. Sang-ho Yeon’s film serves as a sterling example of why and how zombies got so popular in the first place.
The Conjuring 2 – This is quite possibly The Godfather II of horror sequels! James Wan took everything that was right with The Conjuring and raised both the stakes and the scares higher. Probably the best haunted house film in the last decade.
Swiss Army Man – This movie has it all… Love, laughs, death, tasteless humor, gross-out gags, humanity, inhumanity. It’s all here, and it’s pitch perfect. Best movie of the year – horror or otherwise.
Honorable Mentions: Don’t Breathe, “Ash vs. Evil Dead,” The Autopsy of Jane Doe, Hush, Lights Out
Sharknado: The 4th Awakens – I know this is like shooting fish in a barrel at this point, but Jesus Christ, they’re not even trying anymore.
Morgan – From the son of Ridley Scott comes the most boring movie of the year that sure is pretty to look at…
Cabin Fever – Remember that shitty shot-for-shot Psycho remake? Remember how pointless it all seemed? This managed to make it look like one of the most relevant films ever made.
The Disappointments Room – For the love of all that is holy, how did this even get released in theaters? Were the filmmakers going for a meta experience to go along with the film’s title? The only saving grace of this absolutely stagnant shitfest is the most creatively creepy usage of the opening of the children’s show “The Magic Garden” that I’ve ever seen.
Dishonorable Mentions: The Forest, “Scream Queens” Season 2, Holidays, The Purge: Election Year
Kevin D. Clark
The artist who does our Such Sights to Show You comic strip chimed in with his own Best/Worst list like only he could!