5 of the Strangest Sentient Objects in Horror
Horror antagonists have taken on a variety of unexpected shapes and sizes: killer dolls, shark tornadoes, lava-tarantulas, velociraptor pastors. And the list goes on. For today’s purposes, we will be looking back on a variety of inanimate objects that somehow became sentient; more specifically, we will be shining the spotlight on some of the most unusual examples of everyday objects coming to life. So, read on for five of the most unexpected sentient objects in horror cinema.
A Pair of Pants (Slaxx)
Slaxx deftly blends horror and comedy and also strikes the perfect balance between camp and serious filmmaking. The results are often hilarious and always brutal. Also impressive is the way co-writer and director Elza Kephart works a great deal of social commentary into the film’s runtime. In addition to being supremely entertaining and gory as hell, the flick also serves as an indictment of inhumane labor conditions and performative philanthropy on the part of soulless corporations.
If you slept on this one, I highly recommend giving it a look. Slaxx is so much better than a film about a killer pair of jeans has any right to be! And the flick is available to stream on Shudder. So, what are you waiting for?
A Laundry Press (The Mangler)
If anyone can make a laundry press sinister, it’s Stephen King. Unfortunately, this adaptation brings to life an antagonistic laundry folding mechanism that never really comes across as particularly menacing. The idea worked well enough on the page but adapting such an outlandish premise for the screen proved to be a real challenge for the late, great Tobe Hooper. There are a handful of people that defend this film for one reason or another. But for most, this tale of malevolent machinery and virgin sacrifice was too outlandish and too corny to terrify moviegoers in any meaningful way. But that wasn’t enough to stop two equally bizarre sequels from being produced!
A Lamp (Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes)
The Amityville franchise is a bit of a mess. The films that are canonical start to decline in quality pretty early in the franchise’s storied history. And making matters worse, loopholes in copyright law have allowed filmmakers to exploit the series’ namesake to tell unrelated, yet often much worse, stories than those contained within the official franchise (Amityville Shark House, anyone?). This canonical entry was made-for-television and features a malevolent lamp with a boundless appetite for destruction. Hide your pets and get out while you can because this lamp is calculating, dangerous, and intent on doing the devil’s bidding.
A Bulldozer (Killdozer)
For a made-for-TV flick about a killer bulldozer, this effort is surprisingly serious. Were this made today, it would likely be loaded with camp and full of one-liners. But that’s not the case here. Director Jerry London avoids veering into satire and attempts to strike fear in the hearts of viewers. There are some effective moments within the film’s runtime. But there’s no denying the outrageous nature of a feature following a sentient bulldozer with a penchant for blood!
If the idea of killer machinery appeals to you, Killdozer did receive a DVD release via the Universal Vault Series Collection.
A Tire (Rubber)
This flick is absolutely hilarious. One big reason Rubber works is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Instead, this feature revels in the ridiculous and invites the audience to come along for the ride. The humor is incredibly witty. The flick constantly reminds the audience that the filmmakers are in on the joke. And the results are inspired. Everything from the sound design to the editing, writing, and direction work together to make this a feature you won’t soon forget. While Rubber may not strike fear in your heart, this film about a psychokinetic killer tire is guaranteed to put a big smile on your face.
If you’re keen to seek it out, Rubber is streaming for free (with ads) on Pluto TV as of the publication of this post.
What do you count as some of the strangest sentient objects from horror cinema? Be sure to let us know your thoughts on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.
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