Toothaches: 5 Biting Horror Titles To Chew On
It’s the 20th anniversary of Darkness Falls! That’s right! The movie that sat out to make the tooth fairy sound even more terrifying than an entity collecting baby teeth while you’re asleep, is almost drinking age. While many of my friends have revisited this work of art recently, I’ve saved it for a special occasion. I plan to revisit this chaotic movie this week for the anniversary. However, because I’m a theme girl I can’t stop at one movie. So, I have a whole day of toothy horror recs to gross us the hell out!
Channel Zero: Candle Cove
Where You Can Watch: Shudder
They have a whole ass person made of teeth, and I am stressed. This season was already disturbing between the murder kids, the darksided children’s show with demonic characters that appear in the real world, and upsetting dream sequences. Someone really said, “We also need a man made entirely out of teeth to make it sing.” I will be sending this team my next therapist bill because the way this creature appears out of nowhere, and the sounds the skin made of teeth makes are not okay. Someone call me an adult to put parental controls on my TV, posthaste.
Darkness Falls
Where You Can Watch: VOD
I saw this movie as a kid, and it made me happy the tooth fairy wasn’t real. The way she chased this group down was a mood. I would’ve immediately removed all of my teeth and asked to be sent to the king. The way she swoops out of the darkness and chases them down hallways was enough to keep my siblings up at night. While I love women coming back to haunt the towns that disturbed their piece, I do wonder if Matilda took it about a century too far. As a grudge-holding Gemini myself, I just want her to work smarter and not harder. However, I respect her methods and I cannot argue that Darkness Falls is that girl.
The Dentist (1996)
Where You Can Watch: Plex, Tubi, and Vudu
A rich dentist lives his American Psycho fantasy in the mouths of his unsuspecting patients. This movie isn’t like the other 90s slashers we talk about. It follows a dentist gone rogue which fucks me up way more than the slasher franchise kings ever did. As someone afraid of dentists, this movie comes to my mind every time I have a toothache. You can find the sequel, The Dentist 2, streaming alongside the first one if you really want to go down this rabbit hole.
Tooth Fairy: Drill to Kill (2022)
(Also known as Tooth Fairy 5: Premolars)
Where You Can Watch: Tubi
This entry follows a teacher who survived a school trip gone sideways as she returns to work. Whatever she encountered on that trip isn’t done with her, and has returned to get weird. This movie is directed by Louisa Warren, and is the fifth film of a five-film franchise. It’s giving underrated horror franchise vibes. Anyone else going to jump into this series tooth first?
Teeth (2007)
Where You Can Watch: Showtime
You didn’t think I would do a toothy horror streaming guide and not mention the movie that made the phrase, “vagina dentata” mainstream, did you? This horror comedy is bizarre but has as much bite as everything else on the list. Watching Dawn go from a boring uptight girl to a superhero taking creeps out one penis at a time is wildly inspiring. Her vagina was fighting the good fight and making the world a safer place. Why is this not a franchise yet? I dare you to name a better toothy horror duo than Dawn and her vagina dentata. I’ll wait.
While Darkness Falls is my default teeth horror flick and deserves all of her flowers on this anniversary, it’s not to know that other teeth bandits are helping fill this specific horror cavity. While teeth in horror are one of the scariest things that can happen on my screen, I can’t help but open up wide and say, “aaahhh.”
Let me know if you’ll be celebrating Darkness Falls with any of these biting horror movies at @misssharai.
Categorized:Lists
