6 Penis Mutilations That Will Make You Uncomfortable
I spend a lot of time on the internet. Which means I spend a lot of time being disappointed in men. While I’ve learned to block the film bros and weirdos, my Gemini spirit still craves revenge. This is why I’ve assembled a list that screams “men stay trash” that also has very little connective tissue. I’m here talking about movies with memorable penis mutilations that are currently streaming, y’all. Just know that for every Kenny that crosses me, there is a movie where some dude gets his shit ripped off. Those moments make up my mind palace.
Black Sheep (2006)
Where You Can Watch: Plex, Prime Video, Redbox, Tubi, and Vudu
Genetically engineered sheep turn into bloodthirsty creatures that terrorize a New Zealand farm. The movie sounds absurd because it is. It also relies heavily on juvenile humor. However, when a sheep decides to eat a man’s penis, it’s hard to not see some value here. This got extra points for stretching the moment (and the member) out in a moment that is truly gagworthy.
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
Where You Can Watch: Shudder
A missing documentary crew’s footage is found in the rainforest. This movie is polarizing for a lot of good reasons. However, it also has a dong removal that you have to see to really appreciate how different movies were in this era. Dick is what’s for dinner…literally. They go old school and take a jagged knife to the peen before serving the guy up like a Waffle House special. What a time!
Death Drop Gorgeous (2020)
Where You Can Watch: Shudder, Tubi, and Vudu
The film is about a bartender and an aging drag queen trying to survive the local nightlife where a masked killer is cutting up. The killer is after the blood of young gay men, which leads to a tricky situation for one guy’s peen. I call this penis mutilation “the Play-Doh fun factory,” and it’s easily one of my favorite parts of the movie. While telling the filmmakers I dubbed it that, they explained how the (vegan) sausage got made because they only do practicals on their movies. That made me love this death even more.
Pieces (1982)
Where You Can Watch: Crackle, Peacock, Plex, and Tubi
A killer is using co-eds to assemble a human jigsaw puzzle. This movie is a lot. Like, a lot a lot. However, right when you think it’s over, they literally grab the hero by the balls. While that handful was more than enough, we see the claw marks and blood. Which is the result of having one’s junk scratched through denim with an early 80s budget. That’s right! The assembled pieces claim one more part for the road and leaves us gasping. The original title was Mil gritos tiene la noche (aka The Night Has 1,000 Screams).
The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)
Where You Can Watch: Paramount+
An outcast is picked on at school until she snaps. While Carrie for a new generation wasn’t quite the moment we had hoped for, it did give us a very funny harpoon through a penis. We see Rachel (Carrie 2.0) cause a character’s glasses to implode into her eyes which causes the character to get a little careless with her weapon. Which is how we end up with a sharp object through the testes. The moment comes out of nowhere and has caused me to cackle all two times I have seen this movie.
Teeth (2007)
Where You Can Watch: Pluto TV, Prime Video, and Tubi
A teen discovers she has vagina dentata which comes in handy with all of the predators in her town. This movie needs some content warnings. However, it feels less crunchy than most of the rape-revenge movies I’ve had to sit through. I love that this vag takes down scum one dick (or hand) at a time. This should’ve been the origin story of a superhero but is instead becoming a musical. It is billed as a horror/comedy, but I don’t remember laughing so much as clapping every time she took a bite out of someone.
That’s my short list of peens getting ripped to shreds. Let me know if your favorite penis mutilation is streaming and not on the list. I’m always down for more research on this topic. Find me at @misssharai.
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