You may all float down there, but up here we’ve pretty much been trained to shit our pants when we see clowns. No longer are they the jovial bringers of fun they once were. Clowns invoke terror, and here are the worst of the worst: The Top 9 Creepiest Clowns.
This list contains creepy clowns from all sorts of places, from television to film to real-life monsters. We’ve got a ton of honorable mentions to throw at you to get the ball rolling so let’s just see who these creepy clowns are. Let’s begin with the clown with the tear-away face from The Nightmare Before Christmas. There’s not much that can trump a rip-off face that reveals a black void behind it. Shawn “Clown” Crahan is the Grammy Award-winning drummer best known for his work in Slipknot, and Crahan has come up with some severely creepy clown masks to wear on stage with the band.
Continuing on with the honorable mentions, we’re going to throw one to Eli Roth’s Clown just on the strength of the early images we’ve seen. We’re also going to include the Insane Clown Posse; the World Wrestling Federation’s clown prince, Doink; as well as John Leguizamo’s Clown from Spawn. Closing out the honorable mentions, we have to throw in a young Michael Myers as well as our sexiest deranged clown, who is, of course, Danielle Harris, garnering the honorable mention for her incredibly entertaining performance in “Holliston, Season 2, Episode 2.” As insane clowns go, there are none hotter than Danielle Harris.
And now, on to…
Twisty the Clown (“American Horror Story: Freak Show”)
He came on like a tsunami. Twisty the Clown was easily the most impressive new addition to “American Horror Story” this year. He wandered out of the woods to inflict some of the most brutal murders we’ve ever seen on the show, and he only lasted three episodes! (Yes, he had a very brief resurrection in the finale, but we only got the real, psycho Twisty for such a short amount of time). But in his limited engagement, Twisty took the horror world by storm. Fans of the show quickly dubbed him the scariest clown of all time, and after seeing him vaporize that loving couple with a set of juggling pins during his first appearance, it’s hard to argue against that. Twisty the Clown is, without a doubt, the rookie of the year when it comes to clowns and may have already found himself in the hall of fame!
John Wayne Gacy (real-life psycho)
Pennywise is a helluva scary clown, and Twisty is a nightmare as well. But, honestly, neither of them can hold a candle to real-life murderer John Wayne Gacy, who would appear in public as Pogo the Clown. Convicted of 33 murders and sentenced to death for 12 of them, John Wayne Gacy is one of the most recognizable figures in the annals of American true crime. His crimes were insane, and the fact that he stuffed nearly 30 dead bodies in a crawlspace in his house just shows how mental he was. When it comes to clowns, there may be some creepier on the big screen, but as far as real-life incidents go, John Wayne Gacy’s Pogo the Clown is, without a doubt, the most chilling ever!
Captain Spaulding (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects)
Since we included Baby Firefly on our “Top Babies” list, there is no way we could put out a “Top Clowns” list and not include Captain Spaulding. “What’s the matter, kid? Don’t you like clowns? Don’t we make you laugh? Aren’t we fucking funny?!” Those were some fantastic lines as Spaulding car-jacked Halloween actress P.J. Soles. Played by Sid Haig, Spaulding is one of the driving forces behind Rob Zombie’s stellar films House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. Spaulding is not your typical clown, far from it. While traditional clowns are concerned with entertaining children and bringing smiles to all, Captain Spaulding is more interested in getting laid, avoiding pain-in-the-ass tourists, and generally just being left alone. As surly as he is murderous, Captain Spaulding is to House of 1000 Corpses what Jim Siedow’s Cook was to The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
The Joker
So often referred to as the Clown Prince of Crime, The Joker has a legacy of brutality that is unmatched. Originally inspired by actor Conrad Veidt’s portrayal of Gwynplaine in the 1928 film The Man Who Laughs, The Joker is the most iconic evil clown of all time. Whether you prefer his comic form, where he perhaps peaked in the Alan Moore’s graphic novel The Killing Joke, or if you prefer The Joker’s moving picture portrayals (such as those by Jack Nicholson in Tim Burton’s Batman, Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, or even Caesar Romero in television’s “Batman” series”), The Joker has long been a staple of badassery. From the mean streets of Gotham to the cells of Arkham Asylum, The Joker is one of the most horrific clowns ever! (P.S. The Joker’s on-again/off-again, Harley Quinn, is one helluva a clown in her own right!)
The Killer Klowns (Killer Klowns from Outer Space)
When it comes to oddly misshapen, dumpy looking clowns, the Killer Klowns from Outer Space take the cake. But they are indeed deadly. With unique weapons and a language all their own, these intergalactic baddies rule when it comes to cartoon brutality. Here to take over and use humanity as their food source (they must have heard all the stellar reviews about Soylent Green), the Killer Klowns may look goofy but are as serious as a heart attack. Created by the Chiodo Brothers, the siblings have reported that a sequel (or multiple sequels) may be on the horizon. We say, “Yes, please” as we cannot get enough wild, clown-inspired madness.
Ronald McDonald (official spokesclown for McDonald’s Restaurants)
Perhaps no clown has ever represented an organization that had a hand in more deaths than Ronald McDonald and his collaboration with McDonald’s restaurants. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an overstatement, but with a menu loaded with fatty, unhealthy foods, McDonalds hasn’t done much to help improve the overall health of America and the world. Yes, this particular clown does score huge points for having his charitable organization, The Ronald McDonald House, but it’s hard to overlook the generations of overweight Americans who find themselves face to face with this killer clown every day. Check out this early Ronald McDonald video. Yes, the restaurant chain managed to polish up the look over the years, but below is a clip of beloved weatherman Willard Scott in his early years shilling for the restaurant chain. Yep, pretty creepy.
Zombieland
Zombieland is a horror-comedy romp that was embraced to the tune of over $100 million at the box office. With an unforgettable cameo by Bill Murray and a stellar cast consisting of Woody Harrleson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin, Zombieland was an unforgettable project that continues to tease us about a sequel. If there is to be another entry in the Zombieland story, we’re going to have to stand up here and insist they again use clowns. The dastardly, dirty clown we’re exposed to during the exciting climax of Zombieland is fantastically scary and disturbing. He didn’t last long, but he is one of our most memorable killer clowns… and the only undead one on this list.
Horrifically Frightening Clown Doll – Poltergeist
We mentioned at the opening of this article that Pennywise the Clown may have been more responsible for the current rash of coulrophobia than any other clown on this list. But those of us who grew up in the late 70’s/early 80’s will argue that the possessed clown doll attack scene from Poltergeist may indeed be the one that put an entire generation off clowns for life. We can’t imagine what kind of parents would even allow the non-possessed version of this clown doll to inhabit their child’s room, much less fathom the parental faux pas of blow-drying our hair while a murderous clown doll ravages our child. The Poltergeist clown was literally a thing of nightmares, we can personally vouch for that!
Pennywise the Clown (Stephen King’s IT))
Thanks a lot for the nightmares, Tim Curry, you jerk! Perhaps no clown has done more to drive a wedge between the human and clown populations than Pennywise. “We all float down here.” That’s not even a scary line, but when uttered from Pennywise’s lips, it becomes a slogan of terror. Hatched from the mind of the master of horror, Stephen King, Pennywise the Clown was a representation of pure evil. Yes, he turned into a hokey spider at the end of the television mini-series, but before that he was spot on! Curiously, we’ve heard a lot about a two-movie remake of IT. It would be tough to top Curry’s clown portrayal but interesting to see a new wrap-up for the iconic character.