DVD Release List: The Squad is Loose!
Here’s what to get and what to avoid come Tuesday, July 24th, 2007…
Blown (2005)
Directed by David C. Hayes
Well, this is a new one on me. A killer blow-up doll … does this really deserve a DVD release of any sort? Granted I’ve not seen it, but c’mon, seriously? It’s a freaking blow-up doll, for God’s sake. The story is about a young couple who are madly in love. When Bobby proposes to Karen it should make them both very happy, but instead their next door neighbor, a voodoo priestess, wants to make them miserable so she uses the eyes of a blow-up doll to get some form of revenge. I don’t get it. Foy did, though, so be sure to read his review of Blown for more info! Buy it here!
The Chambermaid (2004)
Directed by Wolfgang Buld
Passion, betrayal and deceit are the names of the game in The Chambermaid but really, can you bring yourself to care? It’s about a momma’s boy who runs a hotel and apparently is in love with the titular character, who runs away right before bodies start showing up in unusual places. The cover is sufficiently eye-catching/cheesy, so I wonder if the film inside will be able to deliver on its promise. Buy it here!
Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)
Directed by Jack Arnold
Yeah, I don’t get it, either. Universal has decided to once again re-release all of their classic monster movies on DVD, though not in the cool Legacy Collections series from a few years back; these are pretty much all stand alones. To save myself the time (and because it kinda pisses me off that Universal continues to milk monster fans), I will just mention here that Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman, House of Frankenstein and various other sequels will be out tomorrow as well, so look for ‘em if, for whatever reason, you’ve never bothered to get them before. Buy it here!
The Crow: Stairway to Heaven: The Complete Series
Directed by Various
Wow, nothing sells DVDs for horror-esque shows like a big ugly TV Guide logo in the corner, because you want to make sure your film looks as similar to a cover of the magazine as much as possible. Ugh. And what’s with that pic of star Mark Dacascos? It looks like someone caught him on the way out of the makeup trailer and asked him to pause for a pic, then Photoshopped in on the cover. Terrible. But then, the show kinda sucked, too, so what can you expect? Buy it here!
Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares
Directed by Various
Not 10, not 20, not even 30; this new box set from Pendulum Pictures features 50 movies, all gathered in one place! Not for nothing, but that is pretty damn impressive if you ask me. Here’s something I wish I had the time to figure out; of 50 movies, how many of them are actually worth watching? I mean, with that much to choose from surely there have to be some gems, right? Someone out there go out, buy this, and spend the next few days plowing through it and let me know! Buy it here!
Gold Digger Killer (2007)
Directed by ?
A woman gets fired from her job, which was helping to keep her and her boyfriend off the streets, so she ditches the man who couldn’t provide for her and moves on to a life with a, and I quote, “playa”. Of course she becomes a victim to his playa status, and eventually she’s out for revenge in the most nasty ways possible. That cover, title and plot synopsis make me feel stupider having viewed them. Ugh. Buy it here!
The Host (2006)
Directed by Bong Joon-ho
Finally, something that makes this list worth my time! Bong Jo-Hoon’s The Host is finally on DVD here in the States, and Magnolia did a great job getting as many extras as possible for the U.S. release. Usually films like this are given shit releases over here, but they know how much fans loved this movie and made sure it was worthy of that love. In case you’ve been living in a cave, The Host is about a family struggling to stay together after a monster makes its way out of Korea’s Han River. Read our DVD review of The HostBuy it here!
Invasion of the Pod People (2007)
Directed by Justine Jones
I was about to write this synopsis with a bit of wonder as to how Asylum was putting out a movie that wasn’t a rip-off of something in theaters, but then I realized that this was set to come out near one of The Invasion’s many release dates, likely right before the last time it changed. The story, believe it or not, is about a woman whose co-workers undergo personality changes and she suspects they’ve been taken over by malevolent aliens. Check our out DVD review of Invasion of the Pod People for more! Buy it here!
Malpertius (1972)
Directed by Harry Kumel
A sailor is very confused and disoriented when, as soon as he sets foot on dry land, he’s abducted and taken to the mysterious and isolated mansion of Malpertius. There he finds his sister and relatives, all of whom have been summoned by their dying uncle, played by the legendary Orson Welles. They learn they will all get an equal part of the man’s fortune as long as they never leave the grounds of Malpertius; pretty soon they all start being killed off in interesting ways. Buy it here!
The Mansion Sister (2006)
Directed by Nasron Panuagkasiri
A girl moves into an apartment near Bangkok University and befriends a young girl who calls herself Little Sister. But something’s wrong with this girl, indeed, so she and her friends begin to investigate the girl and find the truths about her; horrifying evil incarnate. Or is it the building that is evil? Or is it the newspapers? Or do you really care about why they think there’s evil afoot? Either way the movie’s going to be hard to watch cause it’s Thai and man, their language is just painful to listen to. Buy it here!
Monster Squad (1987)
Directed by Fred Dekker
Wow, it’s been 20 years since Monster Squad came out in theaters, and the first time since then that the film will be seen the way director Fred Dekker really wants. It’s pretty amazing that not only is this film finally on DVD, but it’s on a feature packed DVD release. Feels good. Give a listen to my interview with Fred Dekker here to learn more about the movie and its long road to DVD; then check out Creepy’s Monster Squad DVD review for more! Buy it here!
Night Screams
Directed by Various
Jesus, another 50 movies in one box? That means that, technically, there are over 100 movies coming out on DVD in one day. Is that some sort of record, you think? Anyway, there’s a good chance you’ve never heard of most of them, so now the chances are even better that some of them will be good. Right? Maybe? God, I hope so for the sake of the poor guy who gets the other box set I asked him to and find out how many are good. Buy it here!
Number 23 (2007)
Directed by Joel Schumacher
Now this is one you might want to think twice about, even as a curiosity pick. You see, there’s some style to this, there really is, but eventually it just falls apart into another generic murder mystery. I mean, the core concept is cool enough, but where Schumacher chose to go with it just doesn’t work on any level of originality. It’s a shame, too. Check out our DVD review of The Number 23 for more! Buy it here!
Perfume: Story of a Murderer (2007)
Directed by Tom Tykwer
The story of a stinky murderer, indeed. This strange entry into our genre is about a man obsessed with capturing the ultimate scent of woman at her most natural, and the methods he goes through to attain that smell are pretty horrific. Worth watching because it’s damn strange all around, gritty, and boasts one of the most bizarre endings I’ve seen in a long time. Buy it here!
Shadow Puppets (2007)
Directed by Michael Winnick
James Marsters and Tony Todd in one movie? I don’t believe it. That means either one of them has taken a bad career turn or someone actually managed to make a halfway decent movie with Tony Todd in the cast, well, aside from Hatchet, of course. In this one eight strangers find themselves trapped in an abandoned factory with no memory of how they got there. Sound familiar? Yeah, to me as well. As they try to find answers, their own shadows begin to consume them. All right, that’s new. Check out our DVD review of Shadow Puppets to learn more! Buy it here!
Sugar Creek (2006)
Directed by James Cotten
All right, this one sounds pretty different if nothing else, and any indie film that doesn’t take the easy, predictable way out is always appreciated by me. The story is of Adam, a man hunted by a mysterious Horseman through a valley where bad men do bad things because bad things were done to them. Interesting; I wonder what the hell that means. Actually he’s a man who has lived past his time, and now the Horseman has come to collect. Buy it here!
Tales From the Crypt: The Complete Sixth Season
Directed by Various
Hell to the yeah; Tales From the Crypt is still coming on strong in their badass box sets, and I couldn’t be happier. Though this is not the show’s strongest season by most accounts, this is the season that features the great episode “You, Murderer”, which is told entirely from the POV of one man and features Humphrey Bogart and Alfred Hitchcock digitally added to the film. It’s pretty damn amazing for its time, and there are some other highlights from this season, too. Read our Tales From the Crypt: Season 6 DVD review for more! Buy it here!
Todd McFarlane’s Spawn: Animated Collection
Directed by Various
I have to be honest. I never really got into the HBO Spawn series when it was on, despite some pretty positive reviews and that it was hailed as far better than the joke of a movie that was out bearing the Spawn name. The show follows the titular creature, once a man now forced to battle the forces of evil on the Earth. He slowly learns that there is a lot more to his powers than he was initially told, and his destiny unfolds before him. And it looks wicked cool, too! Buy it here!
Wages of Sin (2007)
Directed by Aaron Joseph Robson
Though you can read this entire synopsis if you’d like, as I do tend to write some pretty funny stuff now and again and you never know when it will be, all you really need to know about Wages of Sin is that The Foywonder reviewed it for us. So that pretty much tells you what kind of movie it is, but it’s even worse that The Foywonder’s review was less than glowing, to say the least. Still here? Then allow me to tell you that the movie is about a couple who move to the country and the woman begins to hallucinate about terrifying events. Read Foywonder’s review of Wages of Sin for more! Buy it here!
A Woman’s Scorn (2007)
Directed by Vinnie Bilancio
What the hell? Is someone actually ripping off the packaging for the After Dark Horrorfest DVD releases or is it just me? I mean seriously, that’s kinda embarrassing cause, you know, the series isn’t that well known yet, is it? So what the hell is it about? To be honest it’s the very last film in this list, which as you can tell is quite long this week, and since I didn’t find it in the usual places, I gave up pretty quick. So, you know, make something up. Buy it here!
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