New CHILD’S PLAY Video Teases Impending Trailer

Jonathan Barkan |

Feb 4, 2019

A new video from the folks behind Child’s Play has dropped a confirmed date for the first trailer: February 8 (this Friday).

The video shows Kaslan Corp CEO Henry Kaslan talking about the Buddi doll and how it’s a revolutionary new toy for all the boys and girls. The press release we were sent even has a full list of features that this toy is going to have.

Let’s list them below and then break each one down for how it can be used as a tool of carnage and destruction:

● Highly intricate cloud-backed voice recognition engine capable of identifying speech and comprehension of inflection, tonality and subtle variations in the human voice
– So it’s going to be able to tell when someone is afraid just by hearing them talk. Cool.

● Ability to learn from human interaction and via 20 sensors and cameras that provide real-time information about its environment
– It’s going to know how and where to move and will know all the best hiding spots.

● State-of-the-art sensor design providing high resolution image recognition and grip sensitivity
– It’s gonna grab tight and never let go.

● Preloaded with the ability to comprehend and converse in both English and Spanish, with the option for language expansion via the Kaslan Language Acquisition App
– Buddi is gonna curse in multiple languages, just to be a dick.

● Connectivity to the latest Kaslan products including the Kaslan HUB home controller, Kaslan VAC robotic vacuum, Kaslan Speakers, Kaslan Drone, the self-driving Kaslan Kar, and other smart home devices
– It’s going to use your own home appliances to kill you.

● And so much more!
– I think that’s honestly enough.

Great job, Kaslan Corp, ya bunch o’ jerks…

Directed by Lars Klevberg and based on a script by Tyler Burton Smith, Child’s Play stars Aubrey Plaza, Brian Tyree Henry, and Gabriel Bateman.

Child’s Play comes to theaters on June 21, 2019.

Categorized:News Videos