‘Santa Jaws’: 5 Reasons It’s The Ultimate Feel Good Christmas Horror Movie
When Santa Jaws was first unleashed in 2018, the world stood still. So much so, it sadly slept on this absolute gem of a Christmas movie. Since then, this classic has gone on to receive the flowers it so rightly deserves.
For the uninitiated (where have you been?), Santa Jaws concerns a young aspiring comic book artist gifted a mysterious pen that brings his drawing to life. Now his creation, Santa Jaws, begins to devour his family and the remaining must battle for survival against this creature.
Here are five reasons Santa Jaws is the only Christmas movie you need this year.
1. He wears a Santa hat
Sometimes when the last thing you want on this planet is to get into the merriment moment, it’s just what you need the most. And what’s the easiest way to get into the spirit? Dressing up! From ugly Christmas sweaters to reindeer ears, there are tons of options. But the most classique of all of the holiday accessories has got to be the Santa hat. And Santa Jaws understands this very well.
2. Santa Jaws has a horn that’s also a giant candy cane
You know how narwhals have those sweet horns they use to battle their enemies with style? Well, Santa Jaws has a similar thing going on and that’s worth celebrating. The only difference? This one seems to be made out of candy cane. The amount of times I’ve cut up my mouth with a candy cane… That stuff is dangerous. Five stars.
3. He’s magic
In classic Are You Afraid of the Dark fashion (see The Ghastly Grinner), Santa Jaws comes to life from the mind of a young comic book artist. Actually, he’s born by the drawings of the said young artist. So be careful what you wish for, and also be careful what you draw. Because that shit is going to come to life and mess you up. Keep it friendly.
4. He has green and red teeth
Sharks are scary as hell. And the worst part has got to be those wild ass teeth they sport. All the better to tear ya up with, am I right? Well, to tone down the terror and bring out the cheer, Santa Jaws has a colorful grill of seasonal colors. We love to see it.
5. It’s available on Prime Video
Santa Jaws understands the importance of a holiday budget. It’s the easiest time of year to get into serious debt, and the best way to avoid that is to keep a strict eye on the spending. By making himself available on Amazon Prime Video, Santa Jaws keeps the seasonal joy cheap and cheerful. What more could you ever want?
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