13 Horror Games That Need a Remake

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4: Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines

Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines is the first half of the best game ever. Possessing incredibly writing, unique and diverse powers, open world level design, compelling moral choices, and a rewarding to invest in but never completely necessary combat system, the first two levels sucked me in like a blackhole fleshlight. Then Troika Games committed that all too common cardinal sin of forgetting how much money they had and released it before the utilities company realized their checks were bouncing.

There is a distinct moment in the game where I went from sneaking around in a haunted hospital, following a film crew being killed one at a time by a malevolent spirit, only to find at the end that the spirit was actually a kind of demon blood witch that was more than happy to trade artifacts rather than fight. The next quest after, I was beating floor upon floor of mindless zombies back with a sledgehammer. Reaching the boss, I tried to reason, but all of his dialogue trees all led to him just adamantly demanding to be introduced to Mr. Sledgehammer. There are a number of unofficial mods created to restore cut content, and the game has a cult following uncommon in today’s release-a-year market. If for none but the fans, this series needs another faithful installment.

3: The Suffering

Some games are on this list because they scared the shit out of me in ways modern games haven’t been able to recreate. Some games are on this list because they innovated the genre, introducing mechanics that are now staple. Some games are on this list because they pushed boundaries and are unique in their style and gameplay. Some entries are on this list because they deserve a new chance at greatness and a day in the spotlight that they for some reason never got.

The Suffering is on this list because a guard told me to “suck his mother fuckin’ cock.” This game had balls. Big monster-shiving, molotov-throwing, demon-transforming, beating monsters with needles for eyes and crutches for hands balls.

2: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream

When I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream came out, adventure games were moving away from the “rub-things-on-things-and-then-die” model to a system that actually required logic and clever thinking. Over time adventure game inventories have shrunk from chests of items to mere grids of items to the modern context necessary few icons at the side. By shrinking the focus on hitting items against whatever bears you came across until they either opened the portal to Narnia or slapped you into a pool of gator-infested water, adventure games started relying on sensical puzzle cues rather than the player’s psychotic determination. As a result, adventure games have become more accessible, with almost anyone being able to enjoy The Walking Dead. By contrast, old school adventure games can be enjoyed by no one, except for maybe creepy Dave who lives with ceiling-high stacks of old newspapers and for some reason never married.

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream got the whole compelling story bit right but decided that a game about a mad computer torturing its victims was some kind of “life imitating art” project and therefore designed the puzzles so that your computer could mock you gleefully as you slammed the keyboard in frustration. The game is borderline unplayable by modern standards but was so compelling in narrative, setting, and themes that lacking a modern remake is almost a crime. If Telltale Games can get you to care about Clementine to the point of tears, they could certainly compel you to not be turned into a suicidal jelly-monster.

1: Breakdown

There are two people on the face of the earth that I know of who have also played Breakdown. Releasing around the time of the original Xbox’s launch, Breakdown was quickly overshadowed by Halo and all the other consoles having a million games in their library. It’s a shame really since there is not a shot of piss tall enough that I would not chug to see another Breakdown game.

Taking place entirely in the first person, Breakdown never cuts away. I know a lot of games claim to feature first-person immersion, but Breakdown goes all the way. There is never a cut in the action, cutscenes are done entirely through the eyes of the protagonist, and you never will fade to black and wind up someplace else, theoretically getting there led by your guide-dog. Health recovery is done by scarfing down burgers and cracking open a soda. Ladders are climbed one hand at a time. Your fists are always right in front of your face, and the physicality of your movements has never quite been replicated.

Oh, and it’s a fighting game. That’s right; when not picking up guns to try to shoot back at armed foes, you are punching aliens in the face. As the game progresses, the player begins to gain the powers of the aliens, starting with the ability to punch right through their bullet-reflective shields. Soon you are blocking bullets, slowing time, and triple backfist punching people across the room. Still, combat never becomes easy in Breakdown, and two-on-one fights become carefully choreographed deathmatches. Trippy dream sequences accent an already compelling and mysterious story, and with limited graphics the game manages to concoct strange monsters and visions of destruction that are still haunting. To this day, I have never played a game with such an unexpected and truly mind-blowing mid-game plot twist. It builds tension right to the end and makes the last blows you land even more satisfying than the punching of Zeus at the end of God of War 3. If a perfect game narrative exists, this is it. It seems to defy any kind of weakness, and it dismays me that more people aren’t aware of it. If anyone makes a sequel, I will suck them off even harder than I am sucking off this game right now, and I’ve been warned by several concerned parties that that would be seriously hazardous to my health.

What are some of your forgotten horror video game epics you’d like to see revisited? Sound off below!

 

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