Dread Central’s Best and Worst of 2014
Matt Boiselle’s Picks
Well, here we are – the close of 2014, and a full slate of horror movies that managed to both appease and annoy even the most spirited of fans. I’ve only been writing for Dread Central for 5 short months, but in that period I’ve managed to witness some films that have both stuck in my mind and made me want to pluck my eyeballs out at the same time. In any event, here is a short list of the top 5 films that caught my attention in both the positive AND the negative fashions, so sit back, read on, and whether or not you agree with one, all, or none of my choices, here’s to a happy, healthy, and horrific 2015!
#5: The Purge: Anarchy: A more than adequate sequel to a film with an already interesting premise. This time, we got a look at just how this gigantic beast known simply as “The Purge” operates without remorse. In the end, when the blood needs to run, it’s fueled by money.
#4: The Houses October Built: Just when the world was hungry for an Autumnal scare-fest, this little beauty popped up on the radar and gave haunted house attraction aficionados a whole new reason to fear what they love so much. This one will be in my “frequently played” section… and this is coming from a guy who despises found-footage films.
#3: The Taking of Deborah Logan: Say what you will, but this gem of a possession film is a cool drink of water for an otherwise parched sub-genre. While many of you will poo-poo on this movie, you can’t tell me that if you woke up at 2a.m. and found that old lady standing on your countertop, you wouldn’t leave bacon strips in the back of your skivvies? I thought so.
#2: Pieces of Talent: A low-budget thriller that doesn’t look like one, and one of the happiest (and creepiest) killers that I’ve seen perform on film just wants to “show you something beautiful” – seek this one out for a real treat, and a welcome departure from the big-budgeted heavyweights.
#1: The Sacrament: There’s just something inherently frightening about religious-cult movies, and with this film that ran a parallel line to the Jonestown Massacre of 1978, it’s all the more terrifying that it actually could, and has, happened. Well acted, well structured, and a movie that still chills me to the bone every single time I press “play.”
#5: Jersey Shore Massacre: This reprehensible display mirrored the clowns from the hit MTV “reality” show as they were systematically slaughtered by a lunatic who certainly didn’t discriminate the everyday douche from the pseudo-celebrity douche. A complete disaster.
#4: I, Frankenstein: The fact that I waited in line at the movies for this toilet-clogging wad saddens me – not even District Attorney Harvey Dent could breathe life into this utter wreck of a presentation… and I watched it in 3D. In a D-Box seat. On an IMAX screen. Wow, was I glutton for punishment.
#3: The Babadook: This movie could simply be equated to waiting at the Christmas tree on December 25th and getting swiftly kicked in the nuts by jolly ol’ St. Nick himself. WAY too much over-hyped promotion, not nearly enough scares, and that kid… GOOD GOD, that kid was enough to piss off the Pope.
#2: Seed 2: Blood Valley: Seed’s Revenge: Once again, Uwe Boll gives horror fans the middle finger as this completely unnecessary sequel crashes and burns with reckless abandon, and if not for the fact that I loved Nick Principe in the main role, this one would be sitting firmly atop my list of the biggest nut-clustered fecal bombs of the year.
#1: Annabelle: For a movie that literally crammed the airwaves with more commercial trailers than any film I can remember in recent memory, you’d think that you wouldn’t want to shoehorn EVERY SINGLE scare into those advertisements, virtually leaving the theater crowd like a violated prisoner, weeping softly in a fetal position, knowing that they’d been softly screwed out of their admission fee by a stupid-looking doll.
So there you have it – my top and bottom 5 films of 2014 – and as your either agreeing or skewering my choices, just remember that we as horror fans can agree to disagree until the cows come home, for the real beauty is in the scare. Happy 2015, everyone!
