Private Number (DVD)
Starring Tom Sizemore, Judd Nelson, Nicholle Tom, Hal Ozsan
Directed by LazRael Lison
I’ll admit it. I’m a sucker for movies about writers. From Bogie in In a Lonely Place, Jack in The Shining, to Johnny Depp in Secret Window – give me a guy typing and dark things happening around him, and I am in.
At first, I was really dialed in to Private Number. We’re introduced to Michael Lane (Hal Ozsan – much easier on the eyes than his name implies), a blocked author who just can’t seem to find a way into the follow-up to his bestselling fantasy novel, Knight Fire. Even after a figment of his main character pays him a few visits full of pep-talks – and a not-so-helpful bottle of booze – the alcoholic author just can’t hold it together.
Add to that his whiny wife, Katherine (Nicholle Tom, best known from her years as a child actor), who wants a baby (like, now), an a-hole neighbor, and prank rings in the middle of the night from an unknown caller; and let’s just say Michael is at the very end of his very frayed rope.
Then things started to go haywire… for me, the viewer, and for Private Number, the movie. In spite of its tight beginning and good setup, a little less than halfway through it begins to crack. Then it crumbles. By the end it’s just a big mess. But at least it does pay off. It’s a good idea buried in a bad script. It’s well acted and beautifully shot, but it’s poorly directed and edited even worse. A good 20 minutes could have ended up excised, and Private Number would have been much better off. As it is, it’s an awkwardly cobbled together mishmash of mystery, suspense, drama, fantasy, and horror.
When it comes to the horror bits (which I know is what you’re interested in, Dread Centralites), they are pretty good. Yes, there are the obligatory jump scares, but they’re well done. And speaking of well done, there’s the ghost of a burn victim that’s pretty dang creepy. As Michael’s sanity starts to slip, more and more phantoms materialize. They’ve all died horribly, but in different ways. He begins to realize that they are all connected by one thing: a serial killer.
He calls the cops for help, but Sheriff Garrett Stance (Judd Nelson) is not very interested in solving the case. Hmmm… why would that be? When Michael turns to his morose AA sponsor (Tom Sizemore), he gets a little more sympathy but no assistance in figuring out why these murder victims keep calling long distance.
Private Number is a decent time waster if you have nothing better to do – or if you need a break from your own writer’s block. But if you do have something better to do – or better to write – then by all means, get to that instead.
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Film
Categorized:Reviews
