Cooties (2015)
Starring Elijah Wood, Alison Pill, Rainn Wilson, Leigh Whannell
Directed by Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion
“Circle-circle dot-dot, now you’ve got the cooties shot!” And as luck would have it, Cooties is a shot in arm to the threadbare zom-com subgenre. It’s The Dead Poets Society meets Dawn of the Dead when a group of ragtag teachers run afoul of zombie virus-infected ragamuffins in the fictional small town of Ft. Chicken.
Ft. Chicken’s claim to fame is their factory of poppable pullet nuggets, which they supply to the local schools’ cafeterias. The opening credit sequence, quite brilliantly done, encapsulates the initial outbreak in nifty, nauseous detail. As soon as we see the cooties go from feathered fowl to breaded morsel to elementary school lunch room and finally to kids’ first bite — we are off and shambling. (Actually, the children are fast zombies.)
Elijah Wood (who is also a producer on the film) plays Clint, a substitute teacher whose real life ambition is to write novels and live the life of a literary Riley (or Stephen King). His magnum opus is a work in progress about a haunted boat called Keel Them All. Throughout the film, even in the midst of monster mayhem, Clint risks life and limb (sometimes even his own) to protect the satchel containing his precious pages.
Along for the fight for survival are Clint’s fellow teachers. He has a crush on Lucy (Pill), and Lucy’s boyfriend, Gym Coach Wade (Wilson), wants to crush Clint. Jack McBrayer (token gay guy), Nasim Pedrad (uptight educator), Jorge Garcia (drug-crazed crossing guard), and Saw and Insidious hall-of-famer Whannell (who co-wrote the film with Ian Brennan, who also costars) round out the posse. Each of them possess a refreshing dollop of humanity under the veneer of their comedy-cliché characters. Along for the mayhem are two of the student body not infected… or are they?
The idea of being trapped in a school fraught with danger is nothing new – think: Carrie, Prom Night, The Substitute – but it feels fresh and alive (ironically) in Cooties because everything inside Ft. Chicken Elementary comes into play in true gonzo fashion. The teachers use the duct vents as possible escape routes, a fire extinguisher becomes a bludgeon, the snack vending machine provides a hiding place, and of course the P.E. supply room provides a bounty of weapons. The modern-day stumbling blocks to true peril – like, cell phones – are handily dealt with in the cleverly crafted script. Having said that, there are a few true stumbles… for instance, the jokes about the homosexual teacher tend toward trite, and there’s some gross-out potty humor I could have lived without.
Still, there’s not much to complain about in this breakneck, laugh-out-loud kooky carnage-fest. The cast and characters are A+, the carnivorous kiddies are gruesome and relentless, and the showdown is stellar. If you enjoyed Zombieland, you’ll love Cooties. (But there is a major difference: Cooties takes place in only a few locations, and the mayhem happens over the course of one day.)
In closing, all I can say is, “Word.” (You will know what I mean, once you’ve caught Cooties.)
-
Film
Categorized:Reviews
