Bed of the Dead (2016)
Starring Colin Price, Alysa King, Gwen Cumyn
Directed by Jeff Maher
Screening at Fantasia 2016
“You made your bed, now lie in it!” Or is it DIE in it? Any way you tuck your covers in, Jeff Maher’s latest gory shocker, Bed of the Dead might not garner all the attention it’s looking for with a title such as this, but it’s a fairly fun movie to watch, aside from its complete inanity.
Debuting at the 2016 Fantasia International Film Festival in Montreal, this non-family-friendly flick tags along with a foursome of overly horny pals (King, Cumyn, Dennis Andres, George Kressa), who are celebrating the birthday of one of their own. Are they throwing a party? Well, not entirely. Are they giving the birthday boy a gift? I’ll say!
Yes sir, instead of the conventional beer-bash, this small pairing of couples decides that in order to ring in their friend’s yearly celebration, it would best be observed by visiting a sex dungeon, renting a room, and shaking the bed off of its casters… gee, all I used to get was cake and a pointy hat. Without divulging too many details, let’s just say that this particular bed in Room #18 (which was acquired for the night via hefty bribe) isn’t the most friendly memory-foam bunk you’ve ever laid your private parts down upon. Turns out that this thing has been cursed for centuries, and whoever presses ass to the sheets gets met with a dispatching that borders on the fringes of both psychologically damning and flesh-rending, all in one gory, glorious display.
Aside from the foursome in peril, a side story of an alcoholic detective (Price) has its way with the audience, telling a tale of dual tragedies that’s left him a fraction of the man he used to be, and now that he’s investigating a heinous crime with a very close connection, it’ll come to pass that his dance with the bottle and flask isn’t out of reach for long. It’s an interesting touch to the story; however, at times it can feel a bit disjointed with the flow of what we’re currently taking in with the two couples in danger on the Sealy Posturepedic from Hell. The idea that none of our oversexed youngins are allowed to set foot off of the bed is indeed a little ludicrous, but it is an interesting way to keep the floor clean–that is, until some viscera manages to wash over it in mass quantities.
What makes this such an interesting watch is that upon first inspection, you wouldn’t expect something like this to grab your attention; yet, aside from the cheesy performances and slightly insipid plot, it works, and it’s pretty damn fun to take part in. Definitely worth a watch, and hopefully it will help you make up your mind when shopping for a new bed.
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