Halloweed (2016)
Starring Simon Rex, Shannon Brown, Jim O’Heir
Directed by LazRael Lison
Trust me, Cheech and Chong fans, the precious boundaries of stoner-dom will not be infringed upon, even with LazRael Lison’s seasonal-green feature, Halloweed – and with a puff of smoke, this one came and went.
The movie stars Simon Rex (remember him, MTV minions) as Joey, the half-brother of a guy named Trent (Brown), and together the two decide to break out of the small town they live in to start fresh – why, you ask? Well, it turns out that years ago, Trent’s pappy was a somewhat infamous killer called The Bridgeport Butcher, and after his execution by the state, Trent’s name has been unfairly dragged through the mud as a result of daddy’s crimes. “So they packed up the weed and moved to Mooseheart” (only to be sung in the vein of The Beverly Hillbillies) – anyhoo, it’s Rex’s character’s dream to become the biggest marijuana-dealer in the entire town…oh, to have aspirations. Well, as soon as the fellas roll into town, the oddest of occurrences begin to pop up: a copycat murderer called The Candy Corn Killer starts dispatching poor souls one after the other. Added to the already growing list of problems, Trent’s family history is leaked, and he’s instantly pegged as the killer, leaving he and his half-brother to try and solve the mystery once and for all.
While others are sealed tightly in the ziploc-baggie of weed-head cinema, this one will surely get left out in the air to dry and crumble – it’s goofy, stale, and not very funny (unless you’re insanely smoked-up) – and I’ll give Lison credit for some other memorable indie-pics he’s put out in the past, but this drugged-out clambake falls far short of what could be deemed as true stoner-worthy material. Normally I’d reserve some sort of shellacking after the film’s been up and running for a bit, but this one had “brain-dead” written all over it from the onset. The shining light here are the cameos, with quick-shots of Ray Wise as a scumbag politician, Tom Sizemore as Trent’s serial-killer daddy, Jason Mewes as Rex’s weed-bro (shocker) and everybody’s favorite bad-ass, Danny Trejo as a pumpkin-patch worker (damn, could I go for one of his killer tacos right now). All together they make this film a bit watchable, but other than that flickering beacon in a cloudy room, Halloweed should be strictly used for recreational purposes only – please don’t dole this stuff out in medicinal levels. In other words…puff, puff, PASS.
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Film
Categorized:Reviews
