Unhinged (2017)
Starring Kate Lister, Lucy-Jane Quinlan, Becky Fletcher
Directed by Dan Allen
Some remakes beg the simple question: “Why?” – and please believe me when I tell you that this isn’t some rogue, jaded opinion of an otherwise unsatisfied horror fan. There simply comes a time and a place for certain films to either get their time to shine, or be left grounded in the era in which they were originally rooted…so on that note, the current specimen in the dish today is the remake of the already stagnant 1982 “shocker” Unhinged. Won’t you please make the leap with me as I attempt to cut into this film from director Dan Allen to see if a rehash was warranted?
The toughest pill to swallow in this re-do wasn’t the performances or overall construction, but the inane thoughts and actions of the characters themselves, and at the risk of screwing the watch up for anyone who might not have eyeballed the original, I’ll keep the inner workings to myself. Focusing on a small group of American ladies that are on their way to a wedding in jolly old England, their happy weekend together quickly dissolves into utter chaos when a botched sexual assault by a local scumbag sets a very frightening series of events in motion. The initial plan to cover up the act of retribution is in fact, a serious miscalculation in not only the framework of the characters, but in the plausibility to make the movie seem more true to form – trust me, if you watch this one, you’ll probably be asking the same damned question I was when the incident occurs.
What follows is a hideout of sorts in a home occupied by a nuttier-than-a-squirrel-turd woman (Michelle Archer), who promises to keep the girls safe until the authorities arrive to assist…yep, because THAT mode of thinking always seems to be the best course of action. It’s not long before a psycho in a dress becomes a pseudo-Norman Bates with a blade that’s begging for fresh crimson, and once again we’re on our way to absurdity-ville. I can without a doubt respect Allen for taking on a project such as this, and there are some redeeming qualities to the film (i.e. performances and kills), but the incredibly ridiculous rationalizations of the differing individuals within drags this movie down to the point of lamentable extent. My advice? Check out the ’82 version, compare and contrast, then move on with your life…lather, rinse, repeat.
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