WTF (2017)
Starring Callie Ott, Nicholas James Reilly, Andrea Hunt
Directed by Peter Herro
With an opening shot of a screaming, blood-drenched, bikini-clad beauty crawling in the grass, presumably to (hopeful) shelter, complete with a butcher knife in her back, the hopes and dreams for a refreshing take on the slasher sub-genre was alive and well. So, remember what I JUST typed about “hopes and dreams” and all that gibberish? Forget it, let WTF play all the way through, and you too will be wondering “what the f**k could I have been doing with my time other than watching this film?”
Good lord, where do I even begin to start with this mess…well, we’ve got a formulaic group of full-on douche-canoes that are readying themselves for a little Spring Break fiesta at a secluded home in the woods – boy I’ll tell ya, the creative depth in this one best represents a puddle after a rainstorm. Anyhow, one of the group’s members is a woman (Ott), whose last big trip into a wooded wonderland left all of her friends resembling filleted cuts of beef, and quite the hefty bill for her therapy, so why not head back into the woods and relive a little trauma? Have I yet mentioned the ultra-diverse collection of characters we have in this presentation? Well, we’ve got an ultra bitchy trust-fund damsel, drugged out slackers, bulked-up goons in tank tops whose vocabularies doesn’t extend past “bro or dude” and one female character who seemingly uses the word “bitch” at damn near every line she utters – would loved to have sat in on the script-read for that one. All in all, it’s one of those casts that literally bring nothing to the table, and best represents perfect horror film fodder for a lunatic with a sharp blade to lay into them.
Now for the positives…uh, gimme a minute…well, I’m sure one will come to me before this wretched review has wrapped, but in the meantime let’s hop back into those cold, negative waters, shall we? Premise? Redundant. Gore? Minimal, yet not a complete waste of energy. Performances? Okay, now we’ve got a bit of a quandary – are these actors THAT good at playing these moronic excuses for human entities, or is it a stretch to encapsulate such douchebaggedness into one’s portrayal? Eh, I’ll give em the benefit of the doubt and say “good on ya” for making me despise these bags of skin more than I normally would in a film such as this – still not going to issue anyone a free pass into Happytown, though. Overall, WTF is one of those movies that a group of overly horny, chemically-altered, booze soaked adolescent minds would absolutely lose their shit over, but for anyone looking for a film that has a BIT more “oomph” behind its hacks and slashes, I’d advise avoiding this wreckage at whatever the cost – WTF, indeed.
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Film
Categorized:Reviews
