Father’s Day (2012)
reviews2/fathersdays.jpg
Written and directed by Astron-6
Starring Adam Brooks, Matthew Kennedy, Conor Sweeney, Amy Groening, Garrett Hnatiuk, Lloyd Kaufman
This was the first movie I saw at this year’s Texas Frightmare Weekend. I was tired from a long day wandering the con, but I was absolutely ready for a good time. This thing had won awards, had strong reviews, and had the main men of Rue Morgue magazine introducing it and endorsing it.
I’m saying that because I want everyone to be clear on my state of mind and being when I say what I’m about to say.
This is one of the most reprehensible, boring, worthless pieces of cinematic horseshit I’ve ever sat through.
Filmmaking/acting troupe Astron-6 were given $10,000 to make a movie based on a fake trailer they’d made, and Father’s Day is the result. The story is hard to relate in any sensible way, but there’s a guy named Fuchman (say it phonetically…yeah, I know) going around raping dads before dismembering them and eating parts of them. After teen gay prostitute Twink (more subtlety) loses his dad to the killer, he grabs his father’s priest and finds Ahab, a man who thought he killed Fuchman years before. Together they discover an incredibly silly plot by Satan himself. I can’t describe that plot, because it never made any sense to me. I actually don’t think they even bothered to lay it out.
What you have are 90 minutes of guys being sodomized for comedic value, tons of low-budget gore, and low-brow humor that most other Troma films would consider beneath them.
Look. I know I’m in the minority here. I’d say most of the audience ate this up like candy. A couple guys near us were in tears from laughing so hard. I’m willing to admit this doesn’t make an OUNCE of sense to me. People would die laughing, and I’d look around wondering what happened, because nothing even remotely funny happened on the screen. But you know what? DANE COOK sells out ARENAS, so this shouldn’t surprise me.
Don’t pass this off thinking I’m easily offended, hate low-brow humor, or am a movie snob. I’m a guy who has watched Stone and Parker’s Cannibal: The Musical dozens of times, without the commentary track. I was raised on a steady diet of Airplane, Naked Gun, and Kentucky Fried Movie. I watched the uncut version of A Serbian Film without being outraged.
This just struck me as some particularly untalented guys being given $10,000 and a video camera and trying to be funny for 90 minutes. And failing. It’s not interesting, it’s not amusing, it’s not entertaining. The acting is bad, the writing is non-existent, the direction is on par with the absolute worst Troma features. I laughed -twice-. Both of them at gags by Troma main man Lloyd Kaufman, who shows up as God, and is generally entertaining doing just about anything. He’s entertaining here, both minutes he’s on screen. I’d rather have 90 minutes of Kaufman hamming it up as his bent version of the Almighty than the rest of this crap.
If you’re a huge fan of comedic sodomy, this is the movie for you. (I bet that will wind up being a blurb on the DVD case.) Otherwise, just go watch ANY other Troma movie, and you’ll have a better time. Watch one involving the Toxic Avenger or Sgt Kabukiman, and you’ll have a MUCH better time.
1/2 out of 5 (1/2 for Kaufman)
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