‘Killer Kites’ Review: Dumb as a Box of Rocks But Surprisingly Enjoyable
After watching Killer Kites, one thing is for sure. A good sense of humor goes a long way. This film was clearly made for little more than the change found between a set of couch cushions. But the lack of monetary resources is overridden by strong comedic timing and the film’s defiant refusal to ever take itself even a little bit seriously.
Killer Kites feels like it was made by an improv comedy troupe that set the precedent that there are no bad ideas and then decided to just let the cameras roll and capture their bizarre fever dream of an idea that somehow morphed into a movie. That might not sound like an enticing setup on paper. But it miraculously works more often than it doesn’t. Against all odds and in spite of every reason that it shouldn’t work, Killer Kites is a fun and silly affair that kept me amused throughout.
Abby (Manon Pages) inherits a kite from her grandmother’s estate. Having little interest in the item, she pawns it off on her conspiracy-theorist brother. But when her brother turns up dead less than 24 hours after taking possession of the kite, Abby begins to head down a rabbit hole investigating the sordid history of kites. Namely, she begins to think that the kite she offloaded on her brother has an insatiable thirst for blood and a desire to convert other kites to communism. Yep. That’s the setup.
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From the moment the opening song about evil kites plays, it’s clear this film is going to be completely idiotic. And it absolutely is. But mostly in a good way. The humor is so dumb. Lowest common denominator dumb. But it is often hilarious.
The lead character Abby is the only one with even a lick of common sense. Everyone else is an absolute and total buffoon. That is a risky move to feature such useless characters in every supporting role. But the existence of a grounded protagonist offsets the fact that everyone around her is an uber-tool. For instance, Abby’s brother eats peanut butter straight from the jar using his fingers and probably can’t accurately count to three using both hands. Not to mention the outrageous antics of newscaster Brock Peterson, who we learn via onscreen popups “has a surprising number of testicles” and also “got hepatitis in a Waffle House bathroom”.
Speaking of colorful characterizations, in one memorable exchange, the wise oracle that mainly exists to dump exposition and make everyone around him uncomfortable arrives on the scene, shoots at a killer kite, and follows that up with: “Kites love bread. Everyone knows that.”
In spite of being the only relatable character, leading lady Abby isn’t all that well-developed. We know almost nothing about her. Additionally, she isn’t the most dynamic protagonist. But solely on the basis of being on the same plane of existence as the rest of us, she miraculously becomes accessible.
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Bizarre character choices aside, the scenes featuring kite attacks are an absolute delight. Co-directors Paul Dale and Austin Frosch somehow manage to imbue a certain amount of personality into inanimate objects. The kites certainly never reach the point of being threatening. But they aren’t really meant to and they do manage to be consistently funny.
Perhaps the film’s greatest strength is that it doesn’t outstay its welcome. Clocking in at just over an hour, Killer Kites is the perfect snack-sized horror picture to put on when you need a good laugh but don’t feel like making a sizable time commitment. If the flick had been even a few minutes longer, it could have easily approached the point of being cumbersome. But Dale and Frosch seem to understand that the gimmick can only stretch so far and wisely end the proceedings before tedium sets in.
If you’re game to check out this schlocky exercise in nonsense for yourself, you can scope the flick on VOD now. And if you appreciate the ridiculous as much as I do, I suggest you give Killer Kites a look. What have you got to lose?
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‘Killer Kites’
Summary
If you enjoy senseless exercises in schlock, you could do worse than ‘Killer Kites’.
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